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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626617">Slipped Away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/POTFFAN/pseuds/POTFFAN'>POTFFAN</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Narcos (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brotherly Love, Explicit Language, Family, Feels, Gen, Kidnapping, Whump, hurt Javier, javier whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:14:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/POTFFAN/pseuds/POTFFAN</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve had told him a thousand times not to run operations behind his back. Javier was now understanding why. Too bad his time was running out. </p>
<p>Helps if you've read Bring Me Back to Life but can be read alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Murphy/Steve Murphy (Narcos)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Thief in the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello readers! Back and better than ever with a new Narcos fic! And as promised, Salome is back for another adventure. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The evening was warm with a slight breeze blowing down the street and into Javier’s open apartment window. It teased the curtains playfully as Connie, Steve, Salome, and Javier all sat around the table, laughing and sharing a meal. Javier and Steve had practically lived at the office for the last few weeks working non-stop on a strategy to catch Escobar and they were finally taking a much-needed break.</p>
<p>“I’ve gotta say, Salome. You’ve really turned this bachelor pad around. Last time we brought work home to Jav’s I couldn’t find the kitchen table,” Steve joked as he sipped his whiskey and Javier shot him a glare.</p>
<p>“This was by far your best meal yet,” Connie exclaimed. At her comment, Javier and Salome glanced at each other and grinned.</p>
<p>“No, you don’t mean?” Connie asked in a surprised voice. “You were the chef this evening Javier?”</p>
<p>“Salome’s been teaching me a few things,” he said with a twinge of pride in his voice.</p>
<p>“Well, I figured those poor girls that stay over might like some breakfast in the morning. Poor things look like they starve themselves,” Salome tutted as she started to clear the table. Javier rolled his eyes but the Murphy’s knew the agent held nothing but love and appreciation for the elderly woman.</p>
<p>“Steve, you want some more to drink?” Javier asked as he shook the whiskey bottle a little. Steve shook his head.</p>
<p>“No thanks, brother. We have to be at the office early tomorrow. In fact,” he turned to his wife, “we should probably be heading out. We’ve got a long day tomorrow,” Steve said as he stood and pushed in his chair. Connie rose to her feet also.</p>
<p>“Thank you two so much for dinner. It was lovely,” she said. She checked her watch. “Oh, come on Steve or we’ll have to pay the nanny to watch Olivia for another hour,” she said with a hint of urgency in her voice and Steve nodded to his partner once more before the couple left. Javier gathered the rest of the plates and took them to the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Such a sweet couple,” Salome commented happily as she filled the sink with warm, soapy water and proceeded to start washing the dishes.</p>
<p>“Hey, you don’t do that. Let me wash the dishes. It’s only fair. I made dinner,” Javier said gently as she took the dirty dishes from her and shooed her out of the kitchen.</p>
<p>“It really no trouble Señor,” she insisted, knowing he hated it when she used a formal title on him.</p>
<p>“Isn’t it almost time for <em>Cuna de Lobos</em>?” Javier asked and her ears perked up at the mention of her favorite telenovela. She shook her head with a grin.</p>
<p>“Alight, Javi. You win this time, but only because I have to see who Catalina Creel kills this time,” Salome replied as she shuffled towards the television in the small living room.</p>
<p>“You can fill me in on what happens while I clean,” he replied.</p>
<p>********</p>
<p>Long after the dishes were finished and the show's credits were rolling, Javier stood up and stretched.</p>
<p>“Are you going to bed, Javi?” Salome asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I got a long day tomorrow,” he replied and she shook her head.</p>
<p>“You boys have been working so hard lately.”</p>
<p>“I know. But that’s the name of the game. Hopefully, we’ll hit a breakthrough soon.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Good night, Salome.”</p>
<p>“Good Night, Dear. Sleep well,” she replied and he smiled at her before exiting the living room and going into his room. Salome finished the row she was on in her knitting before she folded it away, turned off the TV and lights, and retired to her own room.</p>
<p>********</p>
<p>Salome sat up in bed. It was the middle of the night. She thought she had heard a soft knock at the door. Her ears strained, trying to catch anymore sounds but there was none. <em>It was just a dream probably</em>, she thought to herself as she once more laid back down in her bed. She’d ask Javier about it in the morning.</p>
<p>********</p>
<p>Ok, now she definitely heard that. She sat up again. That had definitely been the sound of floorboards creaking in the living room. She got up, threw on her robe, and went to the door. Javier rarely got up in the middle of the night unless he was trying to sneak some girl in or out. It had become one of her favorite past times to catch whatever tramp was trying to sneak out of their apartment and shame them for the dirty, immoral life they were leading. She would instruct each girl to go home, take a good shower, put on some decent clothes and go to church and confess their sins. She wasn’t about to miss an opportunity to do this tonight.</p>
<p>Pulling open the door, she felt her heart jump when she saw Javier also opening his door, which was across the hall from hers. His presence had startled her as usually he left his guests to find their own way out.</p>
<p>“Did you hear that?” He whispered lowly.</p>
<p>“I did. I thought it was one of your nighttime guests,” Salome whispered back and Javier shook his head. “What was it then?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Stay here,” he whispered back as he slipped out of his room as the pair heard the unmistakable sound of a desk drawer being opened.</p>
<p>Salome watched him nervously as he disappeared around the corner of the hallway. She imagined he was entering the living room now and any second he would call out to her, telling her it was fine and there was nothing to worry about. Javier yelled alright but it was nothing coherent. She heard shouts and grunts followed but a loud crash. She bolted from her room to the living room and to her horror she saw Javier grappling with three massive men. Their faces were all covered in masks and she couldn’t make out any of their features as they continued to swing and try to overpower Javier.</p>
<p>He was holding his own but she could tell they were slowly becoming too much for him. Fighting three men at once was almost too much to ask of one man. Fearing for his safety, Salome felt compelled to help him. Her eyes scanned the room and she remembered there was a frying pan in the sink leftover from dinner. At that moment she was thankful for Javier’s notorious habit to let pans he didn’t want to wash “soak” overnight. The men hadn’t spotted her yet, so cautiously, she crept into the living room, moving as carefully as possible until she got to the kitchen, where her weapon was waiting, full of water, in the sink. She grabbed the handle, dumped the water out, and carried the pan to the living room. Creeping up to the pile of grappling man, Salome summoned a power that only possessed mothers trying to protect their children and swung with all her might. There was a loud clang followed by a grunt as the pan connected with the nearest man’s head and he dropped to the floor with a loud thud. The other two paused in their attempt to beat Javier out of pure shock.</p>
<p>“What the-“</p>
<p>“Leave him the <em>fuck</em> alone!” Salome interrupted and it was Javier’s turn to be shocked. He’d never heard Salome cuss before.</p>
<p>“Why you little. Come here!” One of them growled as he lunged for her.</p>
<p>Javier sprung and jumped onto the thug’s back, preventing him from reaching the older woman. However, the other moved simultaneously and was in front of Salome in two steps. She held the frying pan out in front of her defensively as he tried to swing at her while dodging her pan.</p>
<p>A terrific crash resounded throughout the living room as the intruder who was swinging wildly, trying to get Javier off his back tripped and fell backward, slamming into the glass coffee table and shattering it. The impact caused Javier to let go of the man as he quickly moved to shield his face and neck from the glass. The crash caught Salome off guard and the man landed a punch square to her jaw. Dazed, she dropped the pan and stumbled onto the sitting chair. The man kicked the pan away.</p>
<p>“No, wait. Please don’t hurt her, she has nothing to do with this.” Javier begged but his plea was cut short as the man who had broken the table jumped to his feet and landed a strong kick square to Javier’s stomach. There was an explosion of pain and Javier’s eyes went wide as he gasped for the air that had been forced from his lungs.</p>
<p>“Where is it you thieving pig? You know what you took!” One of them yelled.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Javier wheezed as he tried to regain his breath.</p>
<p>“Don’t lie to me! Where is it?!” The man practically screamed.</p>
<p>“I don’t have it!” Javier replied.</p>
<p>The interrogator growled in frustration and, grabbing one of the legs from the coffee table, swung and struck Javier in the head, knocking him out. Javier slumped into the pile of broken glass on the floor.</p>
<p>“Please! Please don’t hurt him please!” Salome begged. “Please, take whatever you want. I have some jewelry in my room that’s worth something. Please just don’t hurt him!”</p>
<p>“What do you want to with her?” The man closest to Salome asked.</p>
<p>“Just make sure she doesn’t follow us,” the man standing over Javi’s unconscious body replied.</p>
<p>Before Salome could protest further, the man swung and punched her in the face, knocking her out. Her body slumped to the floor with Javier’s. Quickly, he grabbed the sash that held back the curtains hanging in the living room and hogtied her hands and feet so she couldn’t follow them. He finished off by ripping off some of the curtain and stuffing it into her mouth.</p>
<p>“Grab him. I’ve got José,” the man directed once he finished tying up Salome. He picked up his unconscious comrade and slung him over his shoulder. His partner did the same with Javier’s body and they exited as swiftly as they came, locking the door behind them. </p>
<p>********</p>
<p>Steve put his car in park and turned the ignition off. He sighed as he gripped the steering wheel. He wasn’t going to get mad. He was an adult. He could be a rational adult and not totally throttle Javier when he asked him why he didn’t show up to work this morning. He could get through this.</p>
<p>Steve opened the door, stepped out of his car and slammed the door shut. So much for calm and collected. He stomped to the door and banged on it. He didn’t care if the neighbors heard him, in fact, he hoped they heard what a piece of shit Javier was. They had been so overworked for the last few weeks, tensions at the office were high. So, when Javier failed to show up to work this morning, naturally their superiors had chewed Steve out and now he was beyond furious. The stress and exhaustion was getting to him.</p>
<p>“Javier? I know you’re in there! Open up! I just want to have a nice, calm discussion about work this morning!” Steve lied. When he got no response he frowned and banged on the door again before checking his watch. <em>11 AM</em>. Salome was an early riser. Just must be out running errands. She would never purposely ignore him. Steve was steaming. He had told Javier they needed to be at the office. He could picture it now. The smug son of a bitch was probably lying around, still half-drunk with his flavor of the week sprawled out half-naked in his bed. Steve felt himself getting angry again and he took a deep breath and walked away from the door for a moment before returning. He tried the door again even though he knew it was locked when something caught his eye.</p>
<p>There were scrape marks around the edge of the door and a piece had been chipped out of the doorframe where the lock engaged. Steve could have sworn the door didn’t look like this when he and Connie had come over for dinner and the more he studied it, the more it appeared that the door had been forced open. He was no detective, but he knew the signs of a basic forced entry. Worry started to settle in his stomach and he pressed his ear against the door, straining to hear any signs of life within. His worry ratcheted up about ten notches when he hear soft crying on the other side of the door. It sounded like a woman. Without a second more of hesitation, Steve kicked the door in. It flung open as the lock was already compromised in the doorframe and he plunged into the apartment.</p>
<p>He froze. This wasn’t Javier’s apartment. Javier’s apartment was clean and tidy and smelled of good food and was warm and comforting. It was not this hell that he had just stepped into. The living room was trashed. Furniture was tipped over. A lamp had been pushed to the floor and now lay broken. Curtains had been ripped from the windows, Javier’s desk had been looted and the glass coffee table in the middle of the room had bee reduced to shards and table legs. The biggest shock, however, was the sight of Salome bound and gagged on the floor. Bruises graced her frail face and her left eye was swollen shut. Something was very very wrong because Javier was nowhere in sight.</p>
<p>“Hey, Salome! Are you alright?” Steve exclaimed as he dropped to his knees beside her and undid the knots binding her feet and hands. As soon as she was free she pulled the piece of cloth out of her mouth and basically collapsed into his arms. Her whole body shook with sobs and he could barely understand what she was saying.</p>
<p>“Easy. Shhhh it’s alright, Salome. It’s alright,” Steve said in a soft and soothing voice as he rocked her comfortingly. “Are you ok? Did they hurt you?” Ensuring the older woman was uninjured was his first priority.</p>
<p>“They took him, Steve!” She sobbed brokenly. “They took him away!”</p>
<p>“What? Salome, where’s Javier?” Surely she was mistaken. No one would just <em>take</em> Javier Peña without a good reason.</p>
<p>“They just took him! Oh, they hurt him and they took them away. I tried to stop them!” Salome was practically hysterical.</p>
<p>“Who, Salome? Who took him?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look. It was dark and they had masks on.”</p>
<p>Steve sighed and rubbed his eyes. Whatever mess Javier had gotten himself into, it was bad, real bad. This was not something they could handle on their own and if Javier had any chance, Steve would need reinforcements. He helped Salome to her feet.</p>
<p>“It’s alright Salome. You’ll come down to the station and tell Carillo everything that happened and we’ll figure this out. Javier is tough. He’ll be just fine until we find him,” he reassured as she started to usher her out of the trashed apartment.</p>
<p>********</p>
<p>Javier groaned as his eyes slowly peeled open. They slammed shut immediately however when the bright light overhead bored straight through his pounding skull. He felt liquid running down the side of his head. <em>Blood</em>, he thought. Whatever those men hit him with had done quite a number on him. There was still a slight throbbing in his stomach from where he’d been kicked but nothing serious. He figured he’d have some bruising there and nothing more. Cautiously, he opened his eyes and as more and more of his senses came back online, he realized he was sitting in a chair with his hands bound behind his back and his angles tie. Another thick rope strapped his middle to the back of the chair so there was no possible means of escape.</p>
<p>“So cliché,” he muttered to himself with an eye roll, which he immediately regretted because it triggered nausea from the splitting headache he was experiencing. He shut his eyes and took some deep, calming breaths. It would be embarrassing to puke in front of the men who had the audacity to kidnap him from his home.</p>
<p>Footsteps reached his ears and his eyes slid open again to see one of the men who had broken into his home approach him. The one that hit Salome. His blood boiled as the memory rolled through his mind. The man looked familiar. Javier was certain his picture was tacked up on the board he and Steve had dedicated to the Escobar investigation back at the office but his muddled mind just couldn’t pull up any information at the moment.</p>
<p>“Good, you’re awake. That saves me the trouble of having to wake you,” the man said in Spanish as he sneered at Javier. “What did your informant take?”</p>
<p>“Ah, cutting right to the chase are we?” Javier replied in Spanish and was rewarded with a strong punch to the face. He saw stars and for a moment found himself in a horrible limbo where the only thing that existed was pain. He shook his head, forcing his mind to clear. He had to stay alert.</p>
<p>“Stop fucking around and tell me what he took!” The man practically shouted.</p>
<p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Javier replied cooly, which was responded to by another punch in the face.</p>
<p>“Don’t play dumb Peña. One of your informants stole information from Don Pablo. Contacts, trade routes, and some other things important to his business dealings. He put it all on a disk. Where is that disk?!”</p>
<p>Javier grinned. “Why? Is he starting to sweat a little? Is it because if I turn that disk over to the DEA they will have more than enough information to put him away for good in an American prison?”</p>
<p>Javier didn’t get a verbal response, but rather another punch, this time to the jaw. He tasted blood as he felt it run down his jaw.</p>
<p>“Your informant was as tight-lipped as you were. We didn’t hesitate to kill him, Peña,” the man sneered.</p>
<p>Javier felt a twinge of guilt. He always did when something happened to any of his informants. He knew they knew the risks, but it didn’t help when things went south for them because of him, especially when he’d tried so hard to cover their tracks. He’d been so careful this time, and had done everything in his power to protect his informant and he still turned up dead. A sinking feeling filled his gut.</p>
<p>“What about Salome?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Who?” The man scoffed. “Oh, the old woman? We killed her. She wouldn’t tell us where the disk was either. We won’t hesitate to kill you next.”</p>
<p>A pain shot through Javier’s heart worse than anything he’d ever felt in his life. Salome did not deserve to die at the hands of these horrible men. It was all his fault. All of this mess was his fault, and there was no way to fix it. All he could do now was make sure that Salome and his informant didn’t die in vain.</p>
<p>“Bring it, motherfucker,” Javier spat.</p>
<p>He must have struck a nerve with the interrogator because in the next moment fists were raining down on him, pounding his head and his face. He couldn’t even attempt to protect himself or fight back as he was bound tightly to the chair. Pain smashed through his brain and he could hardly breathe it was so intense. There were no thoughts, only pain until at last one strong punch to the face shoved him over the edge into unconsciousness.</p>
<p>*********</p>
<p>Steve paced nervously outside of Carillo’s office. Connie had tried to get him to sit down twice but he always found himself standing when he thought someone was coming out of the office.</p>
<p>“Steve, pacing is not going to speed any of this up any so why don’t you come sit down?” Connie suggested gently.</p>
<p>“Dear lord, Connie. Can’t he stay out of trouble for ten minutes? Who knows who kidnapped him and why?!” Steve rubbed his hands down his face. “Connie, we have no leads, nothing to go on.”</p>
<p>“I know, Steve. I know. But we’ll figure this out. You will figure this out. You always do.”</p>
<p>The door opened and Carillo guided Salome out of his office. Her face was so swollen now from where she was hit and there were still tears running down her face. It was a sad sight to see.</p>
<p>“Thank you for your time,” Carillo said. There was a kindness in his voice that Steve had rarely heard before. She turned and touched his cheek tenderly and gave him a small smile before turning back to the Murphy’s. Connie stood and wrapped the older woman in a comforting hug.</p>
<p>“Come on, Salome. Steve wants you to stay with us while we get this all sorted out. I don’t want you to sit in that trashed apartment by yourself.</p>
<p>Salome sniffed and nodded as Connie wrapped an arm around her and the two women started for the exit. She stopped and turned to Steve.</p>
<p>“Please, Steve. Please find him. I don’t know what kind of trouble he’s in, but please find him. You’re a good man, and I know you won’t rest until you will.” Her voice wavered with emotion as she pleaded to him. Steve felt an ache for her tug at his heart.</p>
<p>“I will Salome. I promise I’ll bring him home safe and sound,” he promised. There was an earnestness in his eyes that seemed to reassure her and she allowed Connie to lead her out of the office.</p>
<p>“Steve, want to join me in my office?” Carillo asked and Steve nodded. He entered and Carillo shut the door behind him before sitting down at his desk. “Ok, what the actual fuck is going on?”</p>
<p>“I’m just as lost as you are. We’ve been together at this office for weeks now. Connie and I went to dinner at his apartment the night before and everything was normal. He’d tell me if he thought he was being threatened, especially now that Salome is living with him.”</p>
<p>“So do you think someone got the drop on him?” Carillo asked as he reviewed Salome’s notes.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure. This has to be Escobar related. Javier isn’t involved with anything.”</p>
<p>“That we know of,” Carillo added as he read. Steve felt his spine bristle but said nothing. “Salome said she heard the door open and close one time earlier in the night, and then again when the home was broken into,” Carillo reviewed.</p>
<p>“Maybe Javier had a girl over?” Steve suggested.</p>
<p>“Maybe. Although Salome said he’s not had any guests for a while. You two have been busy.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t had a chance to check his apartment. I found Salome and everything’s been hectic since.”</p>
<p>“Well, why don’t we search there first, try and see if we can find any clues,” Carillo suggested as he rose to his feet and Steve nodded as he followed him out of the office. “At least we can rest in the knowledge that if he was kidnapped, they are more than likely going to use him as leverage. They have to keep him alive for that.”</p>
<p>“We hope,” Steve pointed out. “They may just want to kill him.”</p>
<p>“If they wanted to, they would have killed him and Salome right there in that apartment. No, they are going to use him for ransom or leverage. Mark my words. We should be getting a call from his captors soon.”</p>
<p>“Man, I hope you’re right,” Steve replied.</p>
<p>The two men walked out into the bright sunshine and walked with purpose to Steve’s car that was parked in the parking lot. They got in, Steve started the ignition, and the headed towards Javier’s apartment to investigate. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Holding Onto All I think Is Safe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The search for Javier begins</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying the story. I know there's not much content in this fandom so I'm still really self-conscious about sharing it. Please let me know if I should continue. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Lots of angst and whump ahead!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When Javier started to surface again he was immediately aware of a cold presence pressed up against his bruised cheek. It felt good on his heated and swollen skin. Gingerly, he pulled his eyes open as far as the swelling would allow. He wasn’t tied to a chair anymore, but rather was laying on the concrete floor of a barred cell. Javier considered this an improvement from his earlier position in the chair. It also didn’t surprise him that Pablo had some sort of personal jail for the ones that dared to cross his path.</p><p>A groan pulled itself from his lips as he pushed himself onto his side and sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. His head was pounding and his lips felt dry, cracked, and sticky with blood. Who knows how long he’d been unconscious. All he knew now was that he was so thirsty. He pushed himself over one more time and finally he was on his back. He gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. The pain was squeezing his head tighter and tighter. He knew he definitely had a concussion at this point. One too many blows to the head would do that. An involuntary shudder ran through him as he recalled being beaten within an inch of his life. It was foolish to think Pablo’s men were done with him. He’d seen enough of the Narcos’ victims to know that they were just getting started and that he best prepare himself for a long and torturous road ahead. His whole body flinched when he heard the door to the room his cell was located in open. It looked like he wasn’t going to have to wait long.</p><p>********</p><p>Steve surveyed the trashed living room before him. He still couldn’t get over the destruction the intruders caused. Javier must have put up quite a fight trying to defend himself and Salome. Carillo was sifting through the debris, trying to find any clues. He picked up the frying pan that was lying in the middle of the floor and looked at it curiously.</p><p>“Probably Salome,” Steve offered. “I don’t see Javier swinging a frying pan.” Carillo tossed it away.</p><p>“And you sure he wasn’t expecting something. He didn’t tell you about any potential threats?” he pressed. </p><p>“Yes. I’m sure. Javier would have told me if he thought he or Salome was in danger,” Steve replied, mildly irritated that he had to answer the same question over and over. He didn’t understand what the man was getting at. Certainly, he wasn’t implying that Javier was up to something, or worse, a dirty agent. Carillo sighed as he stood up.</p><p>“Well, there’s nothing that I can see here. We’ll get a forensics team in here and see if they can pull any prints, maybe we’ve had run-ins with these men before.”</p><p>“Let me check his desk before we go. Maybe he’s got some notes or something in there that might help,” Steve said as he walked over to the wooden desk. The drawers had been pulled out and the once neat stack of papers piled on its surface were now scattered everywhere.</p><p>“It’s pretty looted. They probably took everything of interest,” Carillo pointed out as Steve shifted through the papers and rifled through the jumbled mess of office supplies in the drawers.</p><p>“Maybe, but if they had, they wouldn’t have had to take Javier.”</p><p>********</p><p>Javier groaned as he was strung up by a rope tied around his wrists and connected to a hook on the ceiling. He’d tried to put up a fight when the men who entered his cell had grabbed him and intended to bind his hands together with the rough rope, but that had only exacerbated the headache so bad he couldn’t see straight and he had to let his captors string him up like a rag doll. By the time the two men responsible for immobilizing him were finished, his feet just barely touched the floor and his body was stretched out painfully with his arms above his head. The position was making him dizzy.</p><p>The door clanged open again and the man responsible for beating him into a pulp earlier entered his cell. The name hit Javier’s battered brain suddenly. The man’s name was Sebastian Garcia. He and Steve had been tailing him for weeks now, but the Sicario always seemed to slip from their fingers before they could take him into custody and question him. Now this brutish, muscled man was standing in front of him with an evil sneer on his face and Javier was seriously regretting the decisions he’d made over the last few weeks to run this operation without Steve’s knowledge. Sebastian had a thick chain in his hand and Javier knew he wasn’t here to just make threats. </p><p>“You want to tell me where that disk is now, Peña?” Sebastian asked.</p><p>“Not particularly,” Javier said, giving his voice a hint of nonchalance. He couldn’t give in to these men and he couldn’t let them know that the sight of the chain in Sebastian’s hand made his blood run cold. And for a good reason. When Sebastian didn’t get the answer he wanted, he swung the chain and it slammed against Javier’s exposed ribs.</p><p>********</p><p>“Ah-ha! Found something,” Steve announced as he held up a yellow Post-it note with Javier’s unmistakable hand-writing on it. He’d found it tucked almost out of sight under a scattered pile of papers and tipped-over cup of pens.</p><p>“What is it?” Carillo asked as he moved over to Steve’s location and inspected the note.</p><p>“Phone number for someone named Nicholas Martinez,” Steve read.</p><p>“Does the name mean anything you to you?” Carillo questioned.</p><p>“Not at all, which makes me think Nicholas might know something about Javi’s disappearance,” Steve replied as he shoved the note into his pocket and headed for the door.</p><p>“I might be the name of a dentist or a barber or something of that caliber,” Carillo suggested as he followed Steve.</p><p>“Come on. When was the last time <em>you</em> wrote down the name and number of something like that?”</p><p>Carillo pondered Steve’s words for a moment before shrugging and getting into the car.</p><p>********</p><p>The burst of pain that followed being whacked in the side with a heavy chain took Javier’s breath away. He definitely preferred bare-knuckle fists compared to this. He groaned and his head slumped forward as he desperately tried to get some air back into his lungs. The rope was cutting into his skin and rubbing it raw. He was sure his wrists would be bleeding by the time this was all over.</p><p>“This could all be over if you just told me where the disk was,” Sebastian said mockingly as he circled his prey.</p><p>“And if I don’t? Javier wheezed.</p><p>“Well, we’ll see how well ribs hold up against a chain.”</p><p>“Go for it,” Javier spat back. He wasn’t going to break. He couldn’t cave. How hard could surviving torture be? It was mind over matter. If he could detach his mind from what was happening he’d be able to withstand anything Sebastian threw at him.</p><p>A sharp blow to his left side jerked his mind out of his reverie so fast he couldn’t stifle the groan that escaped his lips. That hit had been much harder than the first.</p><p><em>Mind over matter. Mind over matter</em>, Javier thought to himself as Sebastian struck him again and again with the chain. The metal was battering against his ribs, bruising him inside and out. Javier thought he was doing well when out of nowhere another chain swung and hit him in the abdomen, knocking the breath out of him and racking pain thorough out his torso. One of the other men in the cell must have gotten a chain to join the fun.</p><p>The unexpected addition to the torture equation threw Javier off and he couldn’t stop the pained cry that exploded from him. The flood gates broke open and he couldn’t hold back the harsh cries that tore from his broken body as he was beaten relentlessly with the chains. Pain crashed through his chest and his sides and his stomach. He wished he would pass out but every blow was sharp enough to keep him from tipping into the darkness. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t fight.</p><p>Salome popped into his mind as a desperate attempt to escape the agony he was in. He wondered what they would be doing right now if none of this had happened. He’d probably just be getting home from work now and she would have already made dinner for him. It would probably be something amazing and made from scratch. Salome had been an amazing cook. Then they would watch telenovelas on TV until one or the other fell asleep. One too many times Javier had fallen asleep watching TV with Salome and the wake up later to find one of her homemade quilts draped over him lovingly. His heart ached knowing that he would no longer have her in his life, and it was all his fault. That knowledge was far more painful than the chains.</p><p>********</p><p>Steve listened to the ringtone buzzing through the receiver of his phone in the office. He tried not to look at Javier’s desk that was directly across from his. Everything was exactly as Javier had left it when he clocked out of work the night before and it was a painful reminder that his partner was missing with no trace. He slammed the receiver down when he got the answering machine.</p><p>“No luck?” Carillo asked as he walked up to Steve’s desk.</p><p>“Nope. Just the machine,” Steve replied.</p><p>“Thankfully Javier wrote down the name. As long as this is a real name we can run it through the system and get an address,” Carillo said as he picked up the Post-It.</p><p>Steve nodded. “Let’s hope it’s a real name. We all know Javier’s affinity for shady characters.”</p><p>********</p><p>The beating stopped and immediately Javier started retching, bringing up bile and what little fluid was left in his stomach. He didn’t want to but the combination of concussion and the repeated blows to the stomach had caused the nausea to overpower any will he had left. Sebastian and his co-torturer laughed as Javier finished throwing up and the agent slumped against the rope holding him upright. His body was battered and bruised and dear God, everything hurt so badly. His stomach throbbed and protested at the violent vomiting he’d been forced to put it through.</p><p>“Where’s the disk, Peña?” Sebastian asked as Javier gasped desperately for breath. Every part of his body trembled with the effort. He couldn’t tell if it was what he presumed were cracked ribs or the blunt force trauma to his abdomen that was causing his breathing difficulties.</p><p>“F-fuck off,” Javier gasped.</p><p>Sebastian swung the chain with all his might, it connected with Javier’s right side and a sickening crack was heard. Javier let out a tortured yell as he felt two of his right ribs fracture before the pain overcame him and he passed out.</p><p>********</p><p>“We got an address,” Carillo announced as he walked up quickly to Steve’s desk. “It’s not far from here.”</p><p>“Then let’s go. I don’t want to waste any more time,” Steve said as he once more got to his feet and Carillo followed him out to his car. His mind was occupied with Javier the entire time he started up the car and drove to the address Carillo found.</p><p>Javier had gotten himself into some deep trouble. He must have done something big because Pablo wouldn’t risk the strong arm of the DEA coming down on him for hurting one of their agents if it had been something minor. He was slightly aggravated. He knew Javier had a tendency to run operations behind his back. Whether it was because his partner thought he was incompetent enough or didn’t want to risk him getting into trouble Steve had no clue. He and Javier led very different lives outside of work. Javier’s seemed unstable and unpredictable while Steve’s was a little quieter. He had a wife and now a baby to worry about. Perhaps Javier kept that in mind when he went off and did foolhardy things like this. Except for now, his partner was alone somewhere being held captive, and Steve couldn’t help but feel like he should be with him. The longer the day went without any word or phone call about the agent, the more worried he got. It was making him sick.</p><p>The car pulled up at the intended location. The apartment was located in a quieter part of town. It was almost peaceful here, blissfully vacant of any evidence that a war was currently raging. Carillo got out and surveyed the building with the corresponding address.</p><p>“Well, this looks promising he said as he walked up to the front door with Steve behind him. He was about to knock with the agent stopped him. “What?” Carillo asked confused.</p><p>“Look,” Steve said as he pointed at the door. Carillo looked in the direction Steve was pointing and saw the same signs of forced entry they’d seen on Javier’s door.</p><p>“You’re armed right?” Carillo asked as he pulled his pistol from his holster.</p><p>“It’s in the car,” Steve replied. He didn’t wait for Carillo to tell him to go get it as he bounded to the car, grabbed his gun out of the glove box, and returned to the door.</p><p>Carillo nodded looked to him, a silent signal that he was ready, before kicking down the door. The pair aimed their guns into the room, ready to fire at the first sign of threat. Carillo went inside first, listening for any movement.</p><p>“We’re all clear,” Carillo announced and Steve followed him inside. The apartment was trashed, just like Javiers; looted from one end to the other.</p><p>“Definitely not a barber,” Steve commented.</p><p>“Indeed. Looks like Javier and this Nicholas Martinez got into some trouble,” Carillo commented as Steve walked to the open door of what he presumed was a bedroom. “I wonder if he was kidnapped too.”</p><p>“I don’t think so,” Steve replied. Carillo looked to the agent and was about to ask why when he saw Steve’s face, which was pale and wore a look of shock. Carillo came to the bedroom door and looked in.</p><p>Lying on the floor, in a puddle of blood, was Nicholas Martinez.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. As always, rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Things I'm Fighting To Protect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More and more clues come together in the hunt for Javier.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello readers! I'm back with another chapter! I just wanted to extend a little shoutout to Kassandra. I've not been entirely sure how well received this fic is and her encouraging comment absolutely brightened my day and gave me the motivation to continue. </p><p>Anyways, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve couldn’t speak for several seconds as he gawked at Nicholas’ body. Carillo couldn’t seem to find any words either.</p><p>“W-Well,” Carillo finally stuttered out. “There goes our lead.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’d say so,” Steve replied. “Geez and I thought Javier had it bad.”</p><p>“I’ll say,” Carillo agreed.</p><p>“We can still get stuff from this though.”</p><p>“Of course. We’ll get an autopsy immediately but it’s pretty obvious he was shot. We’ll get forensics in here as well. They’re at Peña’s apartment now. I’ll send them here next.” Carillo looked at Steve and he could see the worry starting to crease the young man’s brow. “Hey, we’ll find him, Steve. Look at it this way. He’s not dead in his apartment like Nicholas here.”</p><p>“I know. I just wish I knew what he’d gotten himself into,” Steve replied.</p><p>“I understand. But we will find him. We can go back to the office and wait for the reports.”</p><p>“I’m going to drop you off at the office and then run home for a bit, let Connie know I probably won’t be home tonight.”</p><p>Carillo nodded. The two men looked at the dead man on the floor one more time before they left the apartment.”</p><p>********</p><p>A strong sick feeling yanked Javier out of unconsciousness. He had just enough time to roll over onto his uninjured side before he started throwing up again. His whole body shuddered through painful heave after painful heave and he couldn’t stop the strangled cries of pain that overlapped. There wasn’t anything left in his stomach to throw up and it hurt so bad Javier thought the sensation alone would kill him.</p><p>At last, his stomach quit spasming and he curled in on himself, trying to hold his broken body together. I occurred to him just then that he was no longer tied to the ceiling. Sebastian must have cut him down after he passed out. Just like he predicted, the skin around his wrists was raw and bleeding but he was in so much pain he hardly noticed.</p><p>“Javier…” His body involuntarily trembled at the sound of his first name. It felt like he hadn’t heard it in ages. He heard his name again. It sounded clearer this time. Despite how bad it hurt to open his eyes, Javier risked it and strained to look around the cell. There was no one there. He was alone.</p><p>“Fuck,” Javier rasped. He was slipping into a bad place. Hearing voices was not a good sign in the slightest. He knew he couldn’t let himself deteriorate mentally or it would be unbelievably easy for Sebastian to break him.</p><p>He pulled himself up, gritting his teeth against the pain as his sore body protested aggressively. If he could just get into a sitting position, he might be able to get his scattered head together. His stomach rolled and he prayed with all his might that he wouldn’t throw up again. The progress from lying down to sitting up was excruciatingly slow but at last, Javier was in a semi-upright position with his back leaning against the wall. He wheezed and gasped as sweat dripped from his hair.</p><p>“Pull it together,” he muttered to himself. Two of his right ribs were definitely broken. He hadn’t coughed up blood yet so his lungs must be alright still. He didn’t even have to look to know that his entire torso was bruised to oblivion. With the added bonus of the serious concussion resting in his brain, Javier wryly considered that things could so much worse. He took a shallow breath and closed his eyes.</p><p>Sebastian clearly hadn’t found the disk or he would be dead by now. He also knew there was no way they would let him go whether he gave up the disk or not. They had attacked a DEA agent and a full army would come down on them should he be allowed to escape and identify them. While he wasn’t exactly sure of how much time had passed, Javier knew he’d been here for a while. Surely Steve was now aware that something had happened to him and was looking for him. Javier figured his best chance of survival was to hang on until Steve could find him. He would have to be strong and withstand whatever Sebastian threw at him. He could do that. He had to.</p><p>*********</p><p>Steve sighed as he put his key in the lock, turned it, and let himself into his apartment. He could hear the baby crying as he trudged up the stairs to the living room and took in the scene before him. Connie was bouncing a fussy baby who refused to be consoled while Salome, who looked more or less beat-up was pacing by the window. All three turned and looked at him when he entered the living room. All noises ceased. One could have heard a pin drop.</p><p>“Did you-”</p><p>“Not yet,” Steve cut off Connie’s hopeful question. “We’re looking. We’ve got forensics sweeping his apartment now and a potential lead. I’m going back to the office now to wait on some reports. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll probably be home late, maybe not at all.”</p><p>Connie nodded and wrapped her arm around him in a one-armed hug. He returned the embrace, looking over her shoulder at Salome who seemed to be in a daze of grief. He let go of his wife and walked up to the older woman. His eyes shone with a determination and earnestness that bore straight through her.</p><p>“I promise, Salome. I won’t rest until I find him. I’ll bring him home. That hasn’t changed.”</p><p>Salome nodded and he wrapped his arms around her comfortingly for a minute before breaking away.</p><p>“Call me with updates ok?” Connie asked as Steve made his way to the door.</p><p>“I will. I promise,” Steve replied. He gave Salome one more reassuring look before he left the apartment. He was feeling weighed down and as anxious as ever.</p><p>*********</p><p>Javier pulled his eyes open. He didn’t remember dozing off and he couldn’t quite make out what had woken him until he realized Sebastian was entering his cell. He knew he was so out of it if he was missing time and blacking out in between. Sebastian grabbed him by the front of the shirt and drug him up to his feet so they were eye level.</p><p>“Sleeping there, Peña?” He taunted. “No, no, no you don’t get to sleep here, Motherfucker.”</p><p>Javier growled as he felt a surge of energy rise in him and he pried Sebastian’s hands away from him and managed to shove him. He wasn’t going down without a fight. He refused to lay down and be Sebastian’s personal punching bag. The agent angled his shoulder down and slammed into Sebastian, crushing the Sicario against the wall. Sebastian groaned and grit his teeth as he struggled with Javier. He had to admit he was surprised by the man’s strength despite being worse for wear.</p><p>“This is for Salome!” Javier ground out as he threw a punch at Sebastian, connecting with his jaw. “And this is for all the shit you put me through.” Javier’s next punch landed in Sebastian’s stomach. The man grunted and doubled over as Javier rammed his knee through Sebastian’s chin. He hadn’t planned on knocking Sebastian into next week with the ferocity of a professional wrestler but his mind and emotions were on a one-stop train out of control and there was no stopping him as the stress and pain, both physical and mental, were boiling over into a foaming rage. </p><p>Sebastian tried to call for help but Javier slammed his fist into his mouth, splitting his lip and causing it to bleed profusely. Unfortunately for Javier, Sebastian’s side-kicks were standing outside the cell and when they heard him attempt to call out they rushed in and yanked Javier off the Sicario and threw him to the floor. Sebastian swiped his arm across his mouth, smearing the blood across his face. He nodded to his men who started to kick Javier viciously. Javier cried out as he felt two more ribs fracture. A sharp pain exploded in his chest and he felt blood surge up his throat. Alarms were screaming in his head as his body shut itself down and he plunged into unconsciousness.</p><p>The darkness did not last forever though.</p><p>Ice cold water drug him out of the comforting darkness and back to the land of suffering. He was once more tied to a chair and his rude awakening had come in the form of a bucket of frigid water that stole his breath away. He sputtered and gasped as the water only exacerbated his pain. Sebastian was standing in front of him with the phone in his hand.</p><p>“So you claim you don’t know where the disk is. That’s fine. We’ll check with your partner. Perhaps he can tell us where it is.”</p><p>“No! Steve doesn’t know anything about this. He won’t be able to tell you anything!” Javier protested. Sebastian chuckled as he started to dial a number on the phone.</p><p>********</p><p>Steve poured over the pictures forensics had taken at Javier’s apartment. They seemed to be as willing to help them find the agent as the dead man had. They should be getting reports back from the lab and autopsy soon but in the meantime, Steve felt he was going to go crazy he didn’t find some way to occupy his mind. So, he took to examining the crime scene photos, looking for any clues they might have missed when they were there previously.</p><p>His telephone started to ring.</p><p>He let it ring twice, assuming almost instinctively that it was Connie. It then occurred to him that Connie knew he was busy at work and she would never bother him unless it was an emergency. He reached over and picked up the receiver and put it to his ear.</p><p>“This is Steve Murphy,” he answered.</p><p>“Yes, we were hoping we reached the desk of Agent Murphy,” a sly voice on the other end purred.</p><p>“May I ask who’s calling?” Steve had been fully prepared for the voice of his wife so any alternative caught him off guard.</p><p>“I believe we have a mutual friend, you and I. One Javier Peña,” the voice on the other end replied.</p><p>Steve’s blood ran cold and he shot to his feet, looking anxiously around for Carillo. “Where is he, you little shit?” Steve growled. He spotted Carillo getting coffee from the office coffee pot and waved for him to come over.</p><p>“Oh come now, Agent Murphy. Name-calling won't make your friend’s situation any better. All I want is the disk and we’ll set him free.”</p><p>“The what?” Steve asked as Carillo reached his side. Steve held out the receiver so that both men could listen.</p><p>“Oh don’t play dumb with me. Peña’s already tried that and I’m tired of it. He wasn’t so easily persuaded, but perhaps you could be.” Steve heard some shuffling on the other end of the line.</p><p>“Steve?” The weak shaky voice was undeniably his partner’s and Steve felt sick to his stomach.</p><p>“Javier? Hey, it’s alright. We’re going to find you,” Steve couldn’t stop himself from reassuring his friend that they were bending over backward trying to find him. He knew how torture worked. They were draining every last bit of hope out of his partner and Steve had to let him know he couldn’t give up yet.</p><p>“Aw, how touching. Tell us where the disk is and we will let him go,” the man on the other end repeated.</p><p>“Look you son of a bitch, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What fucking disk? Don’t you think if I had it I would give it to you?”</p><p>“You fucking DEA agents are all the same. You pretend that you play on the side of angels, but in reality, you’d throw each other under the bus for a minute to be a hero. Your partner’s life for a moment of glory.”</p><p>“I don’t have any disk. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Steve practically yelled into the receiver. He was gripping it so tight his knuckles were turning white.</p><p>He could hear more shuffling intermingled with Javier’s soft pleas when suddenly a guttural scream that would haunt Steve until his dying day pierced his ear. It was Javier. Even Carillo flinched.</p><p>“Time is running out for your partner, Agent Murphy. You better think long and hard about how badly you want to be a hero.” The voice sounded irritated and inconvenienced.</p><p>“What the fuck did you do?!” Steve shouted. The was only the dial tone to reply. He slammed the phone down in its cradle angrily.</p><p>“Steve, just calm down.”</p><p>“Calm down? Calm down?” Steve scrubbed his hand across his mouth. He wasn’t shouting. His voice was low and even. This was how he talked when he was so angry he was about to let loose. Somehow the oddly calm tone was even more frightening. “They are killing him, Carillo. Did you not hear that. They think I have some fucking disk and every second we sit here is another Javier doesn’t have. So you tell me what we should do from here because I don’t have a <em>fucking</em> clue.”</p><p>“Well, now we know what they want. They want a memory disk, so we’ll find him one. We’ll go back to Javier’s apartment and try to find what he was talking about. He said they would let him go if we gave him the disk.”</p><p>“There’s no way they will let Javier go. Not after he’s seen them. They’ll kill him regardless of what we do,” Steve replied.</p><p>“We have to at least try. Maybe they’ve had masks on this entire time. Maybe they are willing to run that risk. Whatever is on that disk was worth them risking serious consequences for kidnapping a DEA agent.”</p><p>Steve sighed. “Alright. Let’s get over there.”</p><p>As they walked out to the car yet again, Steve was lost deep in thought, trying piece together everything the had happened over the last twelve hours. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. Carillo noticed and stopped as well.</p><p>“What is it?” He asked.</p><p>“Nicholas. He’s an informant,” Steve replied.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“He’s an informant. Javier has informants all over. He must have had Nicholas swipe whatever was on that disk for him. When they got caught, Nicholas was killed and Javier was kidnapped. It must have been something incredibly important for them to lash out like this.”</p><p>“So Javier was running an operation-“</p><p>“Behind my fucking back as usual,” Steve said with an irritated eye roll as he reached his car and yanked open the door. “Stupid asshole.”</p><p>“Well, fortunately for you, I’ve worked with Javier a lot longer than you have and I know how he tends to organize these kinds of things. Now that we have a motive, this should be simple.”</p><p>“I applaud your positivity,” Steve replied. It was his turn to be pessimistic now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank ya'll for reading! Keep an eye out for the next chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Losing The Grip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Javier starts to lose his grip on reality and Steve and Carillo start to give up.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! Glad to see you've stuck around! Hope you enjoy the chapter! Warning, there are some serious feels ahead. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve dug through a drawer in Javier’s kitchen. He could hear loud clattering coming form Javier’s room where he knew Carillo was searching top to bottom for evidence of the disk Javier was currently being tortured for. Steve ran Salome’s witness report in his head over and over, trying to glean any possible clue from it that he could. They’d asked the older woman if she remembered hearing anything about a disk. She hadn’t.</p><p><em>Of course Javier would hide this from everyone,</em> Steve thought as he yanked out another drawer and rifled through its contents. Half of him wanted to choke Javier out and the other half was full of petrifying fear. Whatever his partner had stolen, it was something big and dangerous and he couldn’t help but consider that if Javier had gotten him involved, Steve might be locked away in a cell being tortured as well.</p><p>Carillo trudged out of Javier’s room looking exasperated.</p><p>“It’s not here but I’ll sort through Salome’s room next,” he reported. “There might be an off chance that the disk never left Nicholas’ hands.”</p><p>“That’s a possibility. I can go back to his apartment and look,” Steve volunteered.</p><p>Carillo nodded. “I’ll keep searching here. When you get done just swing by and get me and we’ll go back to the office.”</p><p>“Copy that,” Steve affirmed as he abandoned the drawer he’d been searching and made his way to the door. He would search Nicholas’ apartment with fervor because he couldn’t afford not to. He didn’t know what had happened to Javier over the phone earlier but that haunting scream played on replay in his mind and fueled him to keep searching.</p><p>********</p><p>Javier’s eyes flickered open. He was lying on the floor of his cell again which he was grateful for because the pain was so vicious now he allowed himself to give in to it. Sebastian had yanked his arm clean out of the socket and it was some of the worst pain he’d ever experienced. Unfortunately, for him, it was his dominant arm too. He allowed a shuddering sob to slip past his lips. It didn’t last too long because he felt a shortness of breath that was deeply concerning. If he hadn’t punctured a lung before, he was certain the beating he’d received early had sealed the deal. Javier swallowed back his tears and winced at how dry and sore his throat was. He couldn’t remember when he’d drank last but the sloshing headache that was currently battling the pain from the concussion in his head told of some serious dehydration. He looked around but despite his blurry vision, he knew there was no water here. They wouldn’t pamper him like that. His cheek rested against the cold stone floor and he let his eyes pull themselves closed. It wasn’t worth it to fight the impulse anymore. His body drifted off, dragging into the darkness where he was temporarily free from the pain.</p><p>
  <em>A wondrous smell drifted through the house. It was rich and warm and full of spice. Javier peeked into the kitchen from around the corner of the door. He could see his mother’s skirts swishing around as she worked furiously to prepare food, humming a tune while she worked. In his five years of being alive, he’d never smelled anything quite as good as his mother’s cooking. She was the best in their neighborhood and everyone for miles around knew it. As if she’d sensed him watching, she turned and smiled a warm smile at him. She dried her hands on her apron before she crouched down and opened her arms for him. His little legs carried him to her and she folded him into a tender embrace. Her humming turned into soft singing as she sang a lullaby that had never failed to put him to sleep. It was gentle and soothing and made him feel at peace. He wanted to cling to her skirts and listen to her sing forever. But she was slipping away from him and the pain was pulling him back.</em>
</p><p>Javier groaned as he shook himself awake. He shouldn’t sleep. Every time he drifted off he risked serious complications from the concussion he had. He might close his eyes and never be able to open them again. Although, right now that didn’t sound half bad. Every second brought fresh pain in waves over the entirety of his body and he just wanted to be free from it. He was asleep again before he realized it.</p><p>
  <em>“Son, you know why I’m so hard on you sometimes?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A teenage Javier looked at his father. They’d fought about something, he couldn’t remember about what, and now his father had found him sitting out in their yard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Who knows,” Javier huffed as he crossed his arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m hard on you because I want you to succeed. You’ve got greatness in you, Javier. You will go so far beyond me or your mother. You’re smart, you’ve just got to stop being so lazy. Whatever you put your hand to, give it 100% even when you don’t want to. I know you will succeed in whatever you chose to do with your future. You just have to be willing to work for it. Promise me you will always do your best.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I promise, dad,” Javier replied. His tone had softened and his father wrapped an arm around his shoulders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t give up, Javier. You have to hold on.”</em>
</p><p>Javier gasped and choked as his eyes opened again. He dragged in a shuddering breath and tried to scold himself for sleeping. Remembering the past would only cause him to slip into a place he would never come back from. If he allowed his mind to snap, his willpower would snap right along with it.</p><p>“You’re letting them get to you, Javier.”</p><p>He turned and saw Salome sitting in his cell knitting away at her blanket. He couldn’t believe his eyes at first. But she sat before him as clear as day. He rubbed his eyes but she didn’t disappear.</p><p>“Salome? Salome, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done this. I should have told Steve or Carillo or someone about this. Instead, you’re dead now and I’m-I’m probably going to die too.”</p><p>“Javier, I think that Catalina Creel is going to kill off her nephew this time,” she said, seemingly unaware of his apology.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> =</span></p><p>Javier wanted to reply but he couldn’t find the breath to do so and his eyes had pulled themselves closed without his consent. Unfortunately for him, no matter how much he protested, his body overrode his mind and pulled him into unconsciousness.</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, Steve. Why did you start working for the DEA? You never told me.” Javier took a swig of his beer and looked at his partner who was staring at his bottle intently for a moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I guess I chose to because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to do the right thing and serve my country the best way I could. I don’t know. It all seems pretty juvenile now,” Steve said with a shrug. “I really don’t know what I’m doing though. Like have of this entire thing with Escobar has been winging it for me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Javier sighed. “My family fucking brags all the time that I’m a DEA agent like it’s some big thing. The truth is, if we don’t catch Escobar, if we fail, I feel like I’m just going to let them all down. They think I’m a hero.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steve nodded, the feeling resonating with him and he and Javier looked up at the stars and drank their beers in silence.</em>
</p><p>“No!” Javier woke himself up. He wasn’t going to sleep. He could not keep trying to cope this way. He was losing his mind. He could feel himself sliding further and further down that hill. He also had no idea of how much time the was losing during these blackouts, nor how much time had passed since he’d been kidnapped. God, he was so thirsty. His throat felt like a desert and he decided he would gladly give his arm away if it meant he could have a sip of water. His headache was pounding his head at a vicious beat and he was so lightheaded he fully expected to pass out again. Instead, the lightheadedness made him gag and lapse into some painful heaving that resulted in nothing but agony.</p><p>“Hey, Javier. What’s this old recipe I found in your desk?”</p><p>Javier groaned as he clutched his stomach and looked up to see Salome standing before him once more. He didn’t want to acknowledge that her presence signaled that he was going insane. Honestly, he couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore.</p><p>“It’s my mother’s. That was her favorite dish to make,” he rasped out weakly.</p><p>“I’m curious. The tomatoes and the garlic made sense but I can’t figure out what on earth the chocolate is for!”</p><p>“It’s her secret ingredient. I swear it works. People would line up for that dish.”</p><p>Javier continued to babble to his hallucination until his breath hitched so badly he let out a clipped cry and passed out. He was out much longer this time until the feeling of an unbearable weight on his chest woke him up.</p><p>He couldn’t breathe. He found himself gasping desperately for breath that wouldn’t come as he clawed at his chest and grabbed at the neck hole of his tee-shirt. Whatever issue was going on with his lungs had now blossomed into a major problem. He couldn’t lay on his back anymore as it currently felt like he was suffocating. It should be easier to breathe if he moved to a sitting position. His body screamed in protest and he didn’t bother hiding the pained whimpers that pushed up from his throat. He <em>hurt. </em>Every part of his body was battered and bruised and his head was spinning violently.</p><p>“S-Steve,” he whimpered as he struggled to pull himself up with his left arm. His limbs trembled. “Steve, please. I-I can’t breathe.”</p><p>He sounded pathetic. Part of his mind had picked up on that fact but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. He was reduced to a shell of a man now. His mind had wasted away in that cell and anything that had been a concern or necessity before no longer mattered in his damaged psyche now. There was no more distinction between reality and fantasy and memory anymore. It all muddled together in a gray puddle. At last, Javier arranged himself more or less so that he was propped up a little bit against the wall. That seemed to help a little with his breathing. He no longer felt like he was trapped under a boulder.</p><p>“Javier that girl was complete and utter trash.” The older woman was standing in front of him shaking her head disappointedly.</p><p>“She was different Salome. She wasn’t like the others,” Javier wheezed out.</p><p>“Don’t even try to fool me, Javier Peña. They are all the same. I just can’t understand why you don’t meet a nice girl and settle down. I’m not getting any younger. I want more children to play with. I don’t get to see Olivia all the time,” she protested.</p><p>“I met a girl once. Her name was Elisa. She-she was different. Spunky. Smart. You would have liked her. I definitely would have been outnumbered in most things.” Javier’s eyes were closing again. “But she’s currently wanted by the DEA and Escobar so I don’t see that happening.”</p><p>Salome threw her arms up in the air exasperated. “Of course the one half-way decent girl you like is wanted.”</p><p>“Well, all of us can’t have Ernests, Salome,” Javier murmured as his head slumped to the side and he slipped away once more.</p><p>
  <em>********</em>
</p><p>“Steve, it’s been two days now. We haven’t heard a single peep since that phone call. We ripped both Javier and Nicholas’ apartment apart brick by brick and didn’t find anything.”</p><p>“What are you saying, Carillo? You saying we should give up?” Steve shot the chief of police a cold hard look across the desk.</p><p>Carillo looked just as tired as he did. The two men had been at the office non-stop for two days trying to piece together what happened to Javier and where he might be. It had been a long two days of crappy coffee, microwave meals, and snatches of sleep here and slumped over a desk or curled up on the plastic couch in the break room. Steve had hardly seen his wife save for a few minutes when she brought him a change of clothes and some toiletries.</p><p>“I’m not saying that, Steve. But these kidnappers made it very clear we were working on a time frame here. We haven’t been able to come up with anything. I think...I think it’s time to start searching differently.”</p><p>The two men were too busy having an exhaustion fueled shouting match over Steve’s desk to notice Salome enter the office.</p><p>“Search differently how?” Steve queried but the look on Carillo’s face caused a pit to form in his stomach.</p><p>“I mean start dragging lakes and checking ditches!” Carillo shouted in an exasperated tone.”</p><p>“Steve?” Both men looked to see Salome standing in the office with a horrified look on her face having heard everything. “Steve he-he’s not dead.”</p><p>Steve sighed as he got to his feet, walked over to the older woman, and put his arms around her. Carillo excused himself to his office to give them some privacy.</p><p>“Salome, it’s been two days. We’ve exhausted all our resources and we’ve not found a single lead. Carillo wasn’t suggesting he’s dead but, it might be time to start accepting that Javier got himself into a lot of trouble this time.”</p><p>“No!” Salome pushed out of his arms. “Javier is not dead. I know it! Now you stop this. Stop it right now Steve Murphy. He’s not dead!” Tears were streaming down her face. “I’m not giving up on him, Steve. Even if I have to look for him myself I will never give up.”</p><p>Broken sobs started to pull from her and she couldn’t stop them. He pulled her in for a hug again.</p><p>“Alright. Alright. It’s alright, Salome. I’m not giving up on him. I promise, I’m going to keep looking. I won’t stop until I find him, alright?”</p><p>She looked at him and rubbed the tears out of her eyes as she nodded and sniffed.</p><p>“Now, why don’t you go back to the apartment with Connie. I’ll call if I find anything out, alright?”</p><p>She patted Steve’s shoulder before she shuffled out of the office. Steve doubled down on his resolve and marched to Carillo’s office. He flung open the door.</p><p>“We aren’t giving up. Not yet. We’ll just have to get every available man to search for Javier. Call the whole fucking United States Army if you have to. We are not giving up,” he announced.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Stay tuned for more! As always, rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. One Last Breath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Help may be coming just a little too late for Javier</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! Happy holiday weekend! Here's a nice long chapter for ya. Hope you enjoy it! This one is pretty angsty.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve sat up with a snort. That was the fifth time in the last two hours that he had dozed off at his desk. It was probably time to try and get a fitful nap on the crappy break room couch before attempting more work. He scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to stimulate some sense of alertness. Three days. That was how long Javier had been missing. Every lead they seemed to come up with only ended up being a dead end. The men who took him had even thorough at covering their tracks. There was no record of their fingerprints in the system. Nothing useful had come back from Nicholas’ autopsy report. Steve had to hand it to Javier, if he ever chose to harness his skills for evil, he would make one hell of a criminal mastermind. He had been careful not to let one single of his operation be traceable. Unfortunately, that made it next to impossible to find him.</p><p>Steve felt worn out and despaired. Even if Javier was still alive, there’s no telling what the men who had captured him were putting him through, and the chances that they would keep him alive were slim. They would need a miracle at this point if they were going to bring the missing agent home safe and sound.</p><p>“Agent Murphy?” Steve looked up at the sound of his name to see the office secretary, Gloria, standing at his desk. He hadn’t even heard her high heels as she approached. It was definitely time for a nap. She held a plastic box on her hip filled with letters and packages. Must be a mail call.</p><p>“Gloria, I really don’t have time to open anything and my desk is slammed as it is. I thought I said to hold onto my mail for now,” Steve said with a touch of irritability in his voice. He didn’t mean to be grouchy at her but he was exhausted and on a short fuse.</p><p>“I know, Agent Murphy, and I’ve been holding onto all your mail like you asked but this came for you and I thought you might like to see it.” She held out a small, cream-colored envelope, seemingly unfazed by Steve’s shortness. Years of working with agents in high-stress situations had made her immune to whatever kind of attitude was thrown at her.</p><p>Curious, Steve took the letter from her hand and inspected it. It seemed like a regular envelope, and the impossibly thin width suggested that there wasn’t anything thicker than a piece of paper inside. There was no return address or stamp. “Agent Murphy” was written in nondescript handwriting. There was nothing particularly incriminating about the envelope but he knew it wasn’t from someone he knew. His wife sometimes wrote cute notes to him when he was stuck at the office but he knew her handwriting, which did not match this handwriting.</p><p>With bated breath, he tore it open and peeked inside. It was a single photograph. Confused he pulled it out. By now, Gloria had walked off to deliver the rest of the mail and he hadn’t even noticed as he studied the photo. The polaroid depicted a strange-looking structure that resembled a deep well. The thick foliage surrounding the ancient-looking brick structure suggested jungle. Steve carefully turned the picture over, trying to find some evidence of when or where the snapshot had been taken. There was no description or anything else, just the photo.</p><p>Without putting down the picture, Steve picked up his desk phone and dialed the extension. “Hey Carillo, I may have gotten something,” he reported once the line connected.</p><p>*********</p><p>Javier’s neck protested as he slumped against the ropes holding him to the chair but he could care less. Every limb hurt, every breath felt like shards of glass and there was a constant pressure on his chest. The shortness of breath didn’t bode well for him at all. Javier licked his dry lips. His throat and mouth were so dry and he was so dehydrated he could hardly function. There was no telling of the severe dizziness was from his lack of water or the concussion. He wondered why Sebastian didn’t just go ahead and put him out of his misery. Steve would never be able to find him and he didn’t know how much he could handle.</p><p>Sebastian was standing before him, taunting him and demanding things from him but he couldn’t get any sort of response to form. So when he heard the cell door open, he couldn’t help but lift his head up a little to get a glimpse of the newcomer. His vision was blurry and disoriented but he knew the face in front of him anywhere. He’d lost track of how many times he’d studied that mug shot. It represented the target they’d been honing in on for months. Pablo Escobar stood before him now, talking in a low voice to Sebastian. This was the closest either he or Steve had ever gotten to the elusive kingpin.</p><p>His mind was too jumbled at first to catch what Pablo was saying. He couldn’t even tell really if his words were directed at him or Sebastian. A bit of smugness washed over him. That disk was a big deal if they were having Pablo come down and ask him for it. His intuition on the importance of the information he’d stolen had been dead on.</p><p>“Make sure he can’t swim,” he caught Pablo order softly before he exited the cell. His fried brain couldn’t make sense of the strange order until hands untied the ropes binding him to the chair and manhandled his broken body so that he was stretched out. His body was supported by a man behind him so that he was at an angle and the only part of him that rested on the ground was his heels.</p><p>“W-wait, please,” Javier begged exhaustedly. His mind was starting to put the pieces together. He squirmed and tried to pull away but he currently had the strength of a newborn kitten and the arms holding him were much stronger.</p><p>Sebastian walked up to him and grinned with an evil smile before he brought his foot up and smashed it down on Javier’s suspended leg with all of his might, snapping the femur like it was a toothpick. A harsh, blood-curdling scream ripped through Javier’s dry throat and he blacked out.</p><p>********</p><p>A hitching gasp pulled him out of unconsciousness. The pain resurfaced all at once and he let out a pained cry. He didn’t care who heard. Groans pushed passed his gritted teeth as he surveyed his new surroundings. He was sitting at the bottom of what appeared to be a well. Dirty, smelly water lapped around his torso, coming up to just below his armpits. Looking up, he saw the gaping mouth of the well was roughly twenty feet above his head. How his captors managed to get him down there, he had no clue. As to why they put him down there, he also had no clue. With a strangled grunt, he pushed himself up so he was standing. It took a lot of maneuvering with his non-dominant arm and his unbroken leg be at last he was upright. He felt a few wet drops hit his face and he looked up. Dark clouds were rolling in above his head and more drops started to fall. As the rain picked up, realization dawned on him. They were going to let him drown.</p><p>It was a cruel game. They hadn’t even bothered to weigh him down as was the standard procedure for Escobar’s victims. His broken leg and dislocated arm were the perfect weights. His captors ensured that he would fight fruitlessly to the end trying to save his own life and be rewarded with death. It was a cruel game indeed.</p><p>*********</p><p>Steve peered over Carillo’s shoulder as the police chief studied the picture intently, trying to glean any clues from it. When he’d first arrived at Steve’s desk and was handed the picture, he’d asked a few standard questions before lapsing into silence while he studied. He’d been silent for about five minutes now and Steve was getting anxious.</p><p>“Well?” The agent asked.</p><p>“This is an old cistern that was built by Muisca centuries ago. There are four or five scattered in the jungles around here. They would build these deep, impressive wells that would fill up with water when it rained,” Carillo explained.</p><p>“Well that was a lovely history lesson but what has that got to—” Steve paused as the solution lit up his brain. “Wait. Maybe Javier is in one of those cisterns!”</p><p>“It’s quite possible. Excellent place to hide him.”</p><p>“Do you think you can find out where this particular well is?” Steve asked as he tapped the picture with his pointer finger.</p><p>Carillo studied the photo again and nodded. “I think I can at least get it narrowed down to two. Lord knows we’ve been traipsing through that jungle enough.”</p><p>“I wonder why they would tell us where they are keeping Javier. Unless he told them what they wanted to know it seems like a foolish move.”</p><p>As if to capitalize Steve’s queries a low, rumbling thunder rolled outside. The two men cast a glance out the window and saw the rain start to fall.</p><p>“Well, I might have one idea,” Carillo said in a trailing voice.</p><p>“Didn’t you say those cisterns fill up with water?”</p><p>“Yeah. Pretty quickly in these summer rains,” Carillo said, already moving from a reclined position on the desk to standing. “We need to get moving now. Javier doesn’t have much time.”</p><p>Steve sprinted to the door with Carillo and the two men plunged out into the rain that was rapidly picking up.</p><p>“How much time do you think we have?” Steve asked as they clambered into Carillo’s jeep.</p><p>“Based on how fast this rain is coming down, I think we have time to check one before they fill up with water.”</p><p>“Better be a lucky pick then.”</p><p>********</p><p>The rain was coming down harder and harder. Javier knew this type of rainstorm well. It was the violent kind that caused flash floods and landslides; the dangerous kind. Water was pouring into the well at an alarming rate and filling it up rapidly. It was at the top of his chest now. Testing his arm, Javier groaned loudly when the dislocated joint protested. Even if he had the nerve to pop it back in place himself, which he knew he didn’t, his shattered femur would never function enough to swim. He couldn’t put weight on it as it was. The water was lapping at the top of his shoulders and he looked up at the sky. He was tired, and just a shell of a man. Escobar and his companions had drained every ounce of hope and willpower out of him. He would die alone in this well, as a final reparation for all the trouble he’d caused. There was nothing left to keep fighting for. Salome was gone. His mind and his body were shattered. He hoped Steve would find a partner who wasn’t a jackass, who didn’t do stupid shit that put others at risk, who wasn’t so utterly misguided.</p><p>************</p><p>“Carillo I swear if you don’t drive faster-“</p><p>“I’m driving as fast as I can!” He barked. “It’s a torrential downpour and flash floods out here.”</p><p>“And Javier is going to die in it if we don’t get to him in time so fucking step on it!” Steve retorted.</p><p>Despite the hazardous conditions Carillo floored the pedal. The rain beat against the window as Steve managed to hail Search &amp; Rescue from the Satellite phone Carillo had in his car. His brain volleyed back and forth like a ping pong ball as Search &amp; Rescue asked him questions in one ear and Carillo was giving instructions and coordinates in the other. At last, he’d sorted everything out and hung up.</p><p>“They are going to check that other cistern for us just to be safe. Let’s hope you were right and he’s in one of these two.”</p><p>Carillo nodded and continued to drive through the torrential rain. After about 20 minutes he braked and shut the car off.</p><p>“We’ll have to go on foot from here. It’s about two miles into the jungle,” he said pulling his rucksack out of the backseat which contained a first aid kit, climbing rope, and other survival essentials. It was better to be prepared than sorry.</p><p>“Let’s go, now!” Steve called over the rushing water as he jumped out.</p><p>Carillo took off into the jungle with Steve hot on his heels.</p><p>**********</p><p>Javier gasped as the water sloshed over his head. A cold undeniable panic crept into his heart. He couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be it. He wasn’t ready to go. He didn’t want to die. He coughed and choked on the water as he tried to tread water. There was some glimmer of fight left in him as he fought to swim. The walls of the well were smooth and worn down from centuries of running water so there was no clinging to the sides and the well was wide enough so there was no way to suspend himself. It was sink or swim.</p><p>“No…NO!” He gasped as he struggled to stay above the water. His head bobbed under and he was rewarded with a mouthful of water. He couldn’t go out like this. He just couldn’t. He thrashed with his good arm and leg and gasped even though each breath felt like a shard of glass in his lungs. His progress to stay afloat was rapidly dwindling. He coughed and choked as water forced its way into his airway. He couldn’t breathe, he was too tired, there was no more fight. He couldn’t stop it now as he sunk below the water. He gazed up and saw the bright light of the well opening above. He looked upon it one last time before he shut his eyes and let go.</p><p>*************</p><p>Steve’s lungs burned and his shoes were soggy with water. He’d sloshed through puddles up to his ankles and still, he ran. The rain was violent and turning the ground beneath him into muddy creeks.</p><p>“I’m coming, Javier. I’m coming,” Steve muttered under his breath.</p><p>“It’s just up ahead!” Carillo called and Steve spotted the edge of the well. Steve practically dove to the ground and peered over the edge. He spotted his partner roughly twenty feet below bobbing in the water face down. Steve felt his heart sink.</p><p>“Javier!” He cried but there was no movement below. Carillo puffed up beside him. “Quick, we’ve got to get him out of there!”</p><p>Carillo swung the pack off his back and pulled the thick climbing rope out. He tossed one end into the well and handed the other to Steve.</p><p>“I’m going down there. Keep hold of the end. I’m going to help pull him up ok? Whatever happens, don’t let go!”</p><p>Steve nodded and Carillo didn’t waste another second before climbing down into the well. Twenty feet didn’t seem that far going down, but he knew it would be a long way back up. He sloshed into the water below, keeping his feet braced against the wall. If he were to let go of the rope the water would be well above his head. He moved under Javier so the man was hanging across his shoulders before he grabbed the rope.</p><p>“I’m climbing up!” Carillo shouted before he started to scale the wall with a limp Javier along his shoulders. He hoped Steve would be able to hold on to both their weight. Javier was much heavier when unconscious and Carillo zeroed in on the strength that surfaces when a friend’s life is on the line. He boot one booted foot in front of the other as he climbed hand over hand up the side of the cistern. In his mind, he was counting down how many feet he had to go before they reached the surface as the rain pelted down on his face.</p><p>Steve felt a heavy tug on the rope and it pulled him forward but he dug in with all his might. He couldn’t let go now. He grit his teeth and growled in determination. The rope bit into his hands and his feet struggled to find purchase in the slippery mud. He couldn’t let go or Javier would be lost. Doubling down on his grip, he wrapped the excess rope around the trunk of a nearby tree and pulled on the end. The tree, acting as a fulcrum, made it easier for him to keep Carillo from falling back into the well. At long last, he saw Carillo’s head peek over the edge of the well, and with a mighty cry, he pulled himself and Javier out of the well.</p><p>Steve let go of the rope rushed to help. He grabbed Javier from under the arms and drug him a little ways away before laying him out flat as Carillo sat at the edge of the cistern, trying to catch his breath.</p><p>It came as no surprise to Steve when he noticed his partner wasn’t breathing. “Javier! Peña damn it,” Steve growled as he started compressions. “Come on Javier. Come on!” He had done about twenty compressions when suddenly Javier started coughing and choking, his whole body convulsing as it worked to expel the water he’d breathed in.</p><p>“Get him on his side!” Carillo ordered as he started to shift Javier over. Steve helped as Javier coughed and threw up the water in his lungs, and rubbed his back soothingly once he was resting on his right side.</p><p>“It’s alright, Javi. We got you. It’s alright.”</p><p>All was calm for about ten more seconds before Javier finally sucked in the air enough to cry out hoarsely. The pain hit him like a truck and the combination of putting pressure on his injured shoulder and the convulsive coughing sent agony wracking through his chest.</p><p>Steve panicked. He didn’t quite know what was hurting his partner so badly and trying to assess his wounds was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Blood stained Javier’s white tee shirt and sweats. “What’s wrong, Javi?” Steve asked urgently.</p><p>“Sh-shoulder,” Javier choked out and Steve looked at Carillo.</p><p>“Get him on his back. Something’s wrong with his shoulder,” Steve ordered and they carefully moved Javier onto his back. This new positioning revealed the dislocated shoulder and Steve winced. “Dominant shoulder is dislocated.”</p><p>“Broken ribs t-too,” Javier stuttered out.</p><p>Steve couldn’t believe his eyes as he also noted how his friend’s left leg looked completely fucked. Javier didn’t look like himself. His face was swollen and bruised. Dark circles hung beneath sunken in eyes and he seemed so small and frail. Steve felt sick to his stomach. Desperate wheezing shook him out of his reverie and he noticed Javier was throwing what remained of his strength into breathing, which sounded weak and shitty. It was frightening.</p><p>“Shit. Hang on, buddy. I’ve got you,” Steve reassured as he gently pulled Javier forward so he was sitting up.</p><p>Javier let out a pained cry at the movement and squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>“Hang on, Jav. It’s alright,” Steve soothed as he sat behind his partner and let him lean back against him so that he was in a propped up position. Javier felt cold. Immediately Steve noted an improvement in Javier’s breathing and the agent nodded as if he heard Steve’s thoughts.</p><p>“I don’t think he can walk back to the helicopter. His leg is completely out of commission,” Carillo said in a low voice, trying not to stir Javier up. Steve shook his head.</p><p>“No, he can’t. I’ll stay here with him. You get search and rescue out to this location as fast as you can. I’m serious. You need to run.” Steve hoped he was conveying just how serious Javier’s condition was to Carillo without alerting the agent in his arms.</p><p>“Will do. Sit tight,” Carillo said as he jogged away from the agents.</p><p>Steve felt Javier tremble against him and even though the position helped the agent’s breathing, he could feel how Javier’s lungs struggled to expand. The man had said something about busted ribs. Steve was now certain his partner had a punctured lung.</p><p>“Steve,” Javier rasped hoarsely. “Did you give me mouth to mouth?”</p><p>“Shhh, Javier you don’t need to strain yourself, man. It’s alright.”</p><p>“Did you?”</p><p>“No. You brought yourself around before I had to.”</p><p>“Good. Didn’t want you kissing me to be the last thing I did,” Javier choked out. Steve could feel him start to slump to the side and Steve pulled him closer.</p><p>“Hey, no. Javier, you need to stay awake alright? You have a severe concussion.” The dried blood on the side of his partner’s head had clued Steve in.</p><p>“Is that why everything is spinning,” Javier mumbled. His words were slurring so badly now Steve could hardly understand him. Soft whimpers escaped his partner’s lips and he cursed under his breath. Carillo needed to get back here with Search and Rescue now.</p><p>“Just stay awake for me Jav. Carillo’s coming back.” He grabbed his friend’s hand and was comforted by the strength of Javier’s grip. As long as it was there, Steve knew he was still awake and fighting. He continued his talking, trying to keep Javier occupied. “They’ll get you out of here, get you cleaned up and patched back together, and you’ll be well enough for me, Connie and Salome to kick your ass for scaring us half to death.”</p><p>“Salome’s dead,” Javier slurred. His reply was incoherent and Steve couldn’t understand him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Javier tried to answer but burst into a harsh coughing fit instead. Steve saw flecks of blood drip onto Javier’s sweatpants. His partner spasmed in his arms and cried out exhaustedly. He knew his partner was in serious pain and every second they spent sitting in the middle of the jungle in the rain was another second he was subjected to it.</p><p>“Shit. No more talking, Peña. Just relax and breathe alright? Carillo is going to be here soon.” He could feel Javier’s grip slacking off. “Stay awake, Javi. Stay with me. You’re going to be fine.”</p><p>Steve repeated his words over and over but even he had a hard time believing them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Keep an eye out for more! As always, rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I'm Still Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Javier is finally brought home and Connie breaks the news to Salome</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello lovelies! So sorry about the long update. Had a family emergency and suffered some injury so it's been difficult to write but I'm back with a nice long chapter. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It ended up being a forty-five-minute wait for Search &amp; Rescue to come. The rain had made the route treacherous and difficult to traverse. Through the entire wait, Javier had lapsed into a shivering mess of whimpering and incoherent babbling. Steve was terrified and the worry didn’t leave when the tiny group led by Carillo finally made their way to the well.</p><p>Javier was so out of it he could hardly make out what was going on around him. It was too difficult to discern reality from the convoluted hallucinations. He was vaguely aware of Steve behind him, talking to him and trying to hold him together, but he couldn’t tell if that was real or not. He’d imagined Steve so many times while he was imprisoned. He must have blacked out because in the next minute he was on his back gasping for air. There were faces and blinding lights above him. Steve was not there and he instinctively missed his partner’s comforting warmth. It was the first bit of friendly human contact he’d had in days. A whimper pushed up from his throat as he tried to sit up and look for his friend. Strange hands held him down firmly and he was too weak to fight them. Flight or fight didn’t matter to him anymore. All that was left was to accept his fate. Steve’s voice was on his right now and he couldn’t figure out where his partner had materialized from.</p><p>“I’m here, Javi. It’s alright. They’re going to strap you down and then we’re going to get you home.” His words had little meaning to Javier’s oxygen-starved brain but Steve sounded calm and reassuring so he figured he was in no danger.</p><p>Something was settled onto his face and strapped around the back of his head. A rush of cold air flowed into his nose and mouth and he immediately felt some relief in his chest. It was by no means perfect but it beat gasping for air that refused to fill his lungs. There was pressure around his chest and abdomen as the straps came down on his body, cinching him to the backboard underneath him. The medic started to strap down the lower half of his body and a sharp pain exploded in his leg. He let out a pained cry before blacking out again.</p><p>********</p><p>“Javier? Javier, you with me?”</p><p>Javier didn’t want to leave the comforting cocoon of darkness. Everything was ok in the darkness. Salome was alive, Steve was there, and he wasn’t injured and barely breathing. He felt a hand rest on his head and flinched at the contact. The hand didn’t leave. It was gentle and wasn’t there to harm him. Cautiously, he cracked his eyes open a sliver. He could just make out Steve above him through his blurry vision. There was a wiring of helicopter blades chopping through the air, drowning out most of the conversation floating on around him. The jungle had disappeared and he was left with the faces of his partner and the other medics.</p><p>“Hey there. It’s alright, Javi,” Steve said gently. Javier wanted to reach out to cling to him for everything he was worth in order to keep from slipping off the edge into the dark hole of his mind in which he’d spent the last few days. When he tried to move his arm, he found it was strapped firmly to his chest and he could not move it. Panic crept into his brain. He was tied down again, just like back in the cell. He wasn’t safe. It was a trick. All of this was some cruel trick his mind had conjured up.</p><p>“Steve.” Javier’s voice cracked hoarsely and it cut through Steve like a knife. He could see his partner was trying to move his arm that had been strapped down to avoid further damage to the dislocated joint and he could register the fear in his face.</p><p>“Hey, hey Javier. It’s alright. You’re ok. They strapped your arm down. Just relax. I’m here,” Steve soothed gently. He grabbed Javier’s free hand, trying to reconnect him with the real world.</p><p>Breathing was getting hard again. Javier couldn’t tell if it was due to his ever-worsening lung situation or the panic that squeezed his chest tighter and tighter and wouldn’t give up. He gripped Steve’s hand desperately, afraid that it was going to disappear like it had so many times before. A groan pulled from his lips.</p><p>“D-don’t…don't-” for the life of him, he was trying to beg Steve not to leave him behind but he couldn’t manage to get the words out. His breath hitched painfully.</p><p>Steve was getting concerned at how frantic Javier’s chest was spasming now and how his lips were starting to take on a bluish tinge. Medics were crowding around the fallen agent and Javier’s eyes were darting around, frantically searching for Steve. The man was going to go into full cardiac arrest if he didn’t calm down. “Hold on,” he said, putting his arm out to stop the medic closest to him. “Just back up and give me a sec with him.Trust me.”</p><p>The medic nodded and gestured for the other medics to back up. Steve moved closer to his partner. Keeping a firm grip on the shaking hand in his, he rested his other hand against the side of Javier’s face, moving in closer so that they were only inches apart. He didn’t care how it looked. He didn’t care what anyone else thought. All that mattered was getting Javier to calm down.</p><p>“I’m here, Javier. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. You’re safe. You’ve got to breathe alright? Just relax and breathe. I’ve got you,” Steve murmured. Javier’s eyes zeroed in on him. He imagined it was probably difficult between the concussion, dehydration, and low oxygen. “Yeah, there we go. I know you’re in there. The medics are going to get you started on an IV alright?” Steve said as he gestured for the medic to come over, never taking his eyes off of Javier. “I’m going to sit right beside you and make sure he does it right, ok?”</p><p>Steve didn’t wait for Javier’s response. Given how out of it the man was he knew one would never come as he sat back and allowed the medic room to work. He didn’t let go of Javi’s hand as the medic managed to slide the needle into the agent’s shriveled vein and string up the IV bag. Once he was done, Steve moved back to his place close to Javier, who seemed much calmer albeit wet and cold. A thick blanket was draped over his prone body to keep him warm.</p><p>“Patient is stable. We’ve alerted the hospital so they can have a team prepped and ready to receive him when we land,” another medic reported.</p><p>“His breathing still sounds like shit,” Steve retorted. Despite the apparent calm Javier now wore, his lips were still a slight blue and it was still an effort for him to draw in even a shallow breath.</p><p>“We’re keeping an eye on him. If we think he’s in severe respiratory distress we’ll sedate him and intubate him until we get him to surgery.”</p><p>The words spoken above Javier’s head between his partner and the medic sounded like garbled jargon in his ears. He was so tired and felt like he had no control over himself. He was being pulled into the darkness without any way to stop it. His eyes closed again. As he did, an undeniable fear that he would wake up tied to the chair or strung up in chains filled him.</p><p>Steve swallowed as he watched Javier’s eyes slip closed. He felt so helpless and out of control of the situation. He would never forget Javier’s cracking plea as long as he lived and he felt his blood boil. He didn’t care how long or what it took, he would see the men who did this to Javier swing for the horrible things they did, and he would make sure Escobar rotted behind bars. If he wasn’t invested in this war before, he was now. Javier’s bruised face and shaky grip on the land of the living was motivation enough. Escobar would not get away with this.</p><p>Steve was thankful that there was no need to intubate Javier on the ride to the hospital. He didn’t think he could stomach that. His breathing, however, was getting more and more difficult and painful and he feared that if something wasn’t done quickly his partner would slip away. He jumped out of the helicopter once it had landed and the blades stopped whirring. A trauma team was already waiting for them and swarmed past to help ease the backboard onto the waiting gurney. Everything felt like a blur as Steve’s head spun. He caught a glimpse of Javier’s swollen face as they prepared to move him into the hospital. His eyes were still tightly closed and pain was etched deep into his features. The team started to roll the unconscious agent towards the building and Steve followed without further hesitation.</p><p>********</p><p>Javier peeled his eyes open and squinted against the bright lights overhead. He could feel his body moving. He was somewhere new. Desperately, his confused mind tried to feed him suggestions about where he was and his current situation but none of it made sense to him. There were voices shouting phrases all around him. He would pick up the trail of one voice and follow it for a few words before losing the trail altogether and picking up a different one.</p><p>“…collapsed lung. He’s going…”</p><p>“…I need a general anesthetic…”</p><p>“…watch his right shoulder, it’s dis…”</p><p>“…tubate him if we…”</p><p>Javier felt himself floating away again. He was losing himself and it terrified him. Steve wasn’t here. He couldn’t hear his voice. His hand fumbled, looking for Steve’s grasp.</p><p>Steve was walking in an aggravated pace beside the gurney with the other medics, determined to stay with Javier as long as possible. He saw his friend’s hand reach out feebly, searching for him and he bit his lip. He knew the nurse would probably pull his hand away or he would be elbowed out to make room for the medics who were now peeling away Javier’s damp shirt to assess the damage but he didn’t care. He had to let Javier know he was still there. Reaching out, he grabbed Javier’s hand and squeezed it gently. Miraculously, the medics worked around the two agents, never breaking their chain as the small group arrived at the pre-op area. Carillo must have scared the right people into letting him stay with Javier. Steve felt a hand on his shoulder. It was the anesthesiologist.</p><p>“Sir, you can stay with him while we put him under, and then I’m afraid you’ll have to wait outside,” her voice was kind but no-nonsense and Steve nodded before turning back to his partner.</p><p>“They’re going to put you under now, Javi. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Connie and Salome and Olivia will be here too. It’s going to be alright.” Steve watched as the nurse injected the anesthetic into Javier’s IV. Javier was no longer registering anything he said and stared at him with a sort of far off look. Steve knew the agent would out like a light in under ten seconds, so he stood beside the gurney and held his partner’s hand and talked soothingly to him until Javier’s eyes slipped closed and stayed that way.</p><p>********</p><p>The phone rang around midnight. Connie answered, talked for a few minutes, and then hung up. She turned to look at Salome. The woman was sitting on the couch knitting furiously. She had originally started a scarf before this madness begun, but it had rapidly transformed into a full-scale blanket. She walked up to her and put her hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“Salome, when was the last time you slept?” Connie asked.</p><p>“How long has Javier been missing?” Salome replied, and Connie nodded in understanding.</p><p>“Why don’t you get some rest?”</p><p>“Why? Why are you telling me this now?” For the first time since the conversation began, Salome looked up at Connie and studied her face. Connie knew she had a terrible poker face. There would be no hiding anything from the older woman.</p><p>“They found him, Salome,” Connie told her and Salome got to her feet.</p><p>“He’s…he’s not…please don’t tell me he is,” Salome begged. There were already tears in her eyes.</p><p>“No, no he’s alive Salome. I promise he’s alive,” Connie reassured.</p><p>“Well then what are we waiting for? Where is he? I want to see him.” The older woman was already looking around for her shoes.</p><p>“Wait, you can’t see him right now, Salome. He’s-he’s in the ICU. Steve is with him.”</p><p>“Why is he there? Connie, I deserve to know what’s going on. All of it. Javier is like my own son, and I deserve to know his condition. Now tell me damn it!”</p><p>Connie was taken aback by the woman’s aggression but cleared her throat. Salome could tell what came next was difficult for her to say.</p><p>“He was in really bad shape when they found him, Salome. They tried to drown him. His shoulder was dislocated. He had a broken leg and a couple of ribs and he was suffering from a collapsed lung and severe concussion. He was so out of it by the time they got to the hospital Steve said he wasn’t even responsive. The doctor said if he makes it through the night his prognosis will be good.”</p><p>Salome was stunned to silence for a moment. Connie hated to dump all of that information on her. She hated the whole situation. She was just as upset about what happened to Javier. Steve had filled her in with more of the graphic details of Javier’s imprisonment but she had decided to spare those from Salome. The woman was distraught as it was.</p><p>“I need to be with him, Connie. I need to see him,” the older woman said in a wavering voice. Connie shook her head.</p><p>“They are only allowing one visitor at a time right now. Steve is good at keeping him calm in these situations. He can tap into that DEA Agent mentality. Besides, Salome, he-he thinks you’re dead.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I guess the men that took him told him they killed you. They think, given the trauma he’s experienced, that it would be too much of a shock for him to see you right now.” Connie could see the woman visibly deflate. “They are keeping him sedated for now, Salome. Steve told me that if he does well tonight they will move him to a regular room tomorrow and you can see him then.”</p><p>Salome sighed as she plopped back in her chair. “To think they would separate a mother and son,” she grumbled.</p><p>“You’re not his mother-“</p><p>“I love him like he’s my own son!” Salome snapped. There were tears in her eyes. “He has been dear to me as my Joseph was, and I believe we entered each other’s lives for that very reason. I may not be his mother by blood, but I swear to God I would fight for him as if I was.” There was such raw emotion and ferocity in Salome’s voice the hair on the back of Connie’s neck stood up.</p><p>“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Connie replied as she put her hand comfortingly on Salome’s shoulder. “Rest ok? Steve promised to call with any updates and as soon as we get the green light in the morning we can go see him, alright? You’re absolutely exhausted.” The older woman started to pull away from Connie who sighed. “I’m sorry, Salome. I know how much you care about Javier. We all do and this has been hard for all of us. Steve sounded like a total wreck on the phone.”</p><p>Salome softened. She could hear the general sadness in Connie’s voice. She wrapped the younger woman in a hug. “Our boys are pretty tough. They’ll come out of this.” Connie stepped back with a nod as she wiped her eyes. “If what Javier needs is for me not to see him right now, I understand. But you promise we can go first thing in the morning?”</p><p>“Absolutely,” Connie replied. Salome nodded, seemingly satisfied with Connie’s answer.</p><p>“Get some sleep dear. I am,” she urged and watched as Connie moved to her bedroom, entered, and then closed the door behind her. Salome laid out on the couch and pulled herself under the quilt she’d made. Thoughts were tumbling around in her mind as her eyes drifted shut. She was asleep before she could sort them out.</p><p>*********</p><p>Steve rubbed his eyes and pushed his feet against the floor to stop himself from slumping in the chair. He’d honestly lost track of how long he’d been sitting in the dimly lit ICU room. Time seemed to be crawling at an ungodly slow pace. Javier had been in surgery for roughly four hours and if it was possible, he looked even more frightening now than he did when they pulled him out of the well. His broken leg had been cast and was now elevated on some pillows. The doctor had mentioned needing to reinforce the fracture with a steel rod and screws but he was optimistic about Javier’s ability to walk and get back to work with careful rehabilitation. Javier’s dislocated shoulder had been the easiest thing to fix. The joint had been shifted back into place and thankfully there had been no tendon or nerve damage. The arm in question was now resting in a sling. These were normal things that happened to everyone.</p><p>Steve had his share of broken bones in his life. He could handle the sight of those. What wasn’t normal was the frightening tube attached to Javier’s side, draining the air around his collapsed lung so it could begin to heal, and the smaller tube jutting out from between the agent’s lips, forcing air in and out of his body. Steve knew the intubation was a necessary precaution to help Javier breathe and allow his lung to heal and that the doctor planned to take him off of the ventilator sometime tomorrow as long as Javier continued to improve but it was still frightening. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the mapping of bruises littering his partner’s exposed chest and face. They somehow made the tubes and wires he was hooked up to stand out even more. Steve had been with Javier in the hospital before. It was the price they paid for doing such dangerous work and there had been times when Javier’s ambition had gotten the best of him. Any other time, Javier would most likely be awake now, probably cracking jokes and saying drugged up nonsense that Steve would tease him about later but not this time. Light sedatives kept the agent below the surface so that the tube down his throat wouldn’t be too uncomfortable.</p><p>He was so lost in thought that he very nearly missed Javier’s body flinch before stiffening up. A muffled grunt slipped past the tube as his face scrunched up in what could only be described as agony. Alarms were starting to go off. These were dangerous alarms that screamed for someone to hurry to room. Steve was on his feet and beside Javi in a heartbeat. The agent’s head jerked this way and that and Steve was afraid he was going to yank out the tube in his throat or disconnect from the ventilator. Javier started to gag on the tube as he gripped the sheets and Steve was struck with terror.</p><p>“Javier! It’s alright. Hey, listen to me, you’ve got to calm down Javi, please,” Steve pleaded.</p><p>A pair of strong hands suddenly pulled him away from his partner and all but pushed him out of the room. Steve immediately plastered himself to the window and watched as the nurses swarmed the bed, trying to assess the patient who was very nearly on the edge of convulsions. His eyes skipped to the monitor mapping out Javier’s heart rate and watched as he rose higher and higher. He was like a ticking time bomb that was about to go off. He closed his eyes and silently willed for Javier to calm down, willed for the frantic beeping to start mapping out a slower, more manageable pace. After a few minutes, he noted the pace was slowly yet steadily coming down. A nurse was leaning in close to Javier, murmuring something incoherent in Spanish before the team left the room. All seemed to be at peace as fast as it had descended into chaos. The nurse holding up the back of the small pack stopped and touched Steve’s arm comfortingly.</p><p>“He doing alright now. We’ve decided to up the strength of sedative he’s on for now. It appeared he was having a panic attack. Given all he’s been through, he most likely was trying to come up and was distressed by all the equipment and restrictions. It’s very common, especially for trauma patients. We’ll keep him under until the tube comes out for his own safety.”</p><p>Steve nodded shakily as he scrubbed his hand across his lips. His gaze shifted back to the pale man in the bed. He was still and calm again, which he supposed was better than the terrible thrashing.</p><p>“We’re monitoring him closely. He’ll be just fine,” the nurse reassured before leaving Steve alone once more. He re-entered the room as sat beside Javier’s bed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.</p><p>“Damn Peña, you have to be a jackass and scare me half to death even when you’re injured and unconscious.” He watched the mechanical rise and fall of his partner’s chest and sighed. “I guess I can let it slide after everything that’s happened. Just know that I’m right here, and I won’t leave you. You don’t have to go and make a scene.”</p><p>********</p><p>Connie took a deep breath. She had always hated the ICU, despite the fact that she was a nurse. The people here were seriously injured and dying. It was solemn and still here, unnervingly so. Her arms unconsciously tightened around Olivia, who was asleep in her arms as the nurse led her and Salome to the right room. Connie spotted her husband through the glass wall. He was sagging in the uncomfortable hospital chair, half-asleep, watching his partner. He had his arms crossed and he looked like he was trying to balance his head and keep it from pitching forward. Their footsteps, however, alerted him and he sat up. Upon spotting the little group approaching, he stood and exited the room. Immediately Connie took him in her arms, comforting him softly.</p><p>Salome couldn’t be bothered with the emotional reunion. She walked up to the window, her eyes fixed on the injured agent. She couldn’t believe that just a few days ago, Javier was laughing and joking. She almost didn’t recognize him. Surely this couldn’t be the Javier she knew.</p><p>“You can go in a see him for a little bit if you like,” Steve said and Salome turned to him. “He’s sedated right now but I think he knows there are people around who care about him.” Connie nodded, reinforcing his words.</p><p>Salome took a deep breath before pushing the door open. It took all of her willpower not to break down at the sight of him. A few more steps and she was at his bedside. She was silent for a moment, taking in the sight of him.</p><p>“Oh, Javier.” Her voice cracked and she had to stop for a moment to collect herself. She reached out and rested her hand on his forehead, pushing back his unruly hair lovingly. “I’m glad you’re home. I knew that you would fight. I knew we shouldn’t give up on you. I think you owe me for that one. I’m thinking dinner for a month when you’re able to cook again.” Her hand left his brow and moved down to clasp his hand, being careful of the IV line and the oxygen monitor clamped on his finger. “Just rest, dearie. You’ll get better, you’ll come home, and everything will be ok.”</p><p>To her surprise, Javier took a shaky, fighting breath against the ventilator. She felt the tears well up in her eyes.</p><p>“That’s right, dear. I know you’re here. I know you’re still fighting.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Expect another update soon! As always, rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Rift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve and Salome discover Javier's problems may be more than skin deep.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello lovelies! Back and better than ever with another chapter. I'm so thankful for yall and the amazing support you've given this fic. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>True to his word, the doctor took Javier off the ventilator later that afternoon. They tapered him off the sedatives, hoping he would surface and have minimal complications. Connie stayed for a while, but then took a fussy Olivia home, leaving Steve and Salome to wait for the agent to wake up.</p><p>“How long will he have the chest tube in?” Salome asked as she sipped the weak instant coffee Steve had brought her.</p><p>“The doctor said a few days. He’s doing well off the ventilator which is a good sign,” Steve replied as Salome adjusted the homemade blanket she’d draped over Javier. She thought he would feel more at home and it would help him transition off the sedatives if he had something familiar nearby.</p><p>The conversation continued in low voices unaware of the war that was currently being waged in Javier’s brain. He was slowly swimming up through the drug-filled haze, trying to wake up. He was cold and in pain. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He could hear Sebastian’s voice barking harshly in his ear as the pain-racked up several notches in his ribs.</p><p>The sharp gasp from the bed grabbed Steve and Salome’s attention. Javier’s face was pulled tight in clear distress as his eyes rolled beneath the lids, signaling he was on the edge of consciousness.</p><p>“Javi? You with us?” He called softly. Javier flinched away from the direction of his voice as a strangled groan escaped his lips.</p><p>“Javier? It’s us, dear. You’re alright,” Salome said gently as she rested her hand on his. To her surprise, he pulled his hand away. She looked up at Steve. “What’s wrong with him?”</p><p>“The doctor said the sedatives have a slight hallucinogenic effect,” Steve replied as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Step back for a sec. Javier? Hey, Javier, open your eyes.” Steve’s voice was gentle and calm. Javier’s eyes fluttered open. His dark irises were still hazy and there was no hint of recognition in them.</p><p>“N-no. Steve!” He gasped hoarsely as he pressed his head back against the pillow. His hand started to fumble towards the chest tube and Steve grabbed it gently.</p><p>“Hey, don’t mess with that, man. Just relax Javier. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” Steve said gently.</p><p>Javier’s eyes settled on Steve, who could see they were starting to clear. “S-Steve?” He rasped in a voice just barely above a whisper.</p><p>“Yeah. That’s right. It’s me. Do you remember where you are?”</p><p>“H-hospital,” he rasped back and winced at how the words scratched his throat.</p><p>“That’s right. You’re safe. And look, Salome is right here,” Steve said, gesturing to the other side of the bed.</p><p>Javier’s gaze shifted over to the older woman who gave him a warm smile. Her heart dropped, however when the man shook his head weakly and looked back at Steve. His breathing was growing rapid and his look of pure fear was just wrong.</p><p>“No, no, it’s alright Javier. It’s alright. She’s real. She’s really here. Those men didn’t kill her. She’s really here,” Steve reassured.</p><p>Javier’s gaze drifted back over to Salome, who cautiously brushed his hair back. “It’s really me, Javier. I wasn’t going to let those thugs get the best of me,” she said softly.</p><p>“I-I th-“ his voice caught in his throat and he started coughing. He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered softly.</p><p>“Easy pal. You’ve had a tube down your throat for the past 24 hours. Does your chest hurt?”</p><p>Javier nodded as he closed his eyes and leaned into Salome’s touch.</p><p>“Ok. They had you on a ventilator and they said soreness was common. You also have a chest tube in right now to help with your lung. I’ll get the nurse in here to see if we can’t get something for the pain and some water. Just sit tight buddy.”</p><p>Steve patted Javier’s shoulder gently before getting to his feet and leaving the room. Salome watched him leave before turning back to the agent in bed. Her hand moved from the top of his head to his cheek tenderly.</p><p>“It’s good to see you awake dear. We have a lot to catch up on.” She grabbed his hand gently and noticed that while he tried zero in on her face, he seemed unable to stay focused. He must still be hazy on the sedatives. “When you’re more awake, Javi, we’ll watch reruns of <em>Cuna de Lobos. </em>We’re only behind on an episode or two. I’ll bring you some food too when you feel up to eating. They can’t possibly expect you to recover on the slop they feed you here.”</p><p>She felt his grip tighten around her hand and she looked into his face, taking in the obvious pain he was in. His eyes were squeezed shut tightly and his chest spasmed as he attempted to internalize the pain.</p><p>“Javi? Hey, Javier. Just breathe ok? Shh, it’s alright Javier. Just relax,” she soothed as he groaned and squeezed her hand. To her relief, Steve walked in with the nurse who immediately took charge of the situation. Salome stood up and stepped back, reluctantly letting go of Javier’s hand as the nurse started to assess her patient.</p><p>“Alright, Agent Peña. I can see you’re in some pain. I’m going to give you something to help with that alright? I’m just going to ask you a few yes or no questions and I want you to nod or shake your head. Does your chest hurt?”</p><p>Javier gave her a weak nod.</p><p>“Alright. What about your leg?”</p><p>Another weak nod was his response.</p><p>“Alright. That’s to be expected,” she said as she stood up and readied a syringe. “Morphine’s going in now, Agent Peña. You should start to feel more comfortable in just a second,” she assured as she injected the pain killer into his IV.</p><p>Javier took a deep breath and Salome saw him start to relax as the tension left his face. He looked a little less pale and agonized now.</p><p>“There we go. I want you to take a few sips of this water to help your throat and then get some rest alright?” Javier gave the nurse a lazy nod before accepting the straw she directed towards his lips. After a few sips, she took the cup away and set it on the nightstand beside the bed before double-checking everything before leaving swift and silent to tend to other patients.</p><p>“Feeling a little better?” Steve asked as Salome got up to grab a washcloth from the pile on the counter by the sink in the room and wet it thoroughly.</p><p>Javier gave him another lazy nod and Steve knew he would probably drift off to sleep in the next few minutes. Salome returned with the damp cloth and gently sponged at the sweat that had formed on his forehead and face from the pain he was in.</p><p>“Thank you,” Javier rasped in a barely audible voice. Salome wasn’t quite sure he even actually managed to get the words out but his lips moved to form them.</p><p>“Don’t mention it dear,” Salome said gently.</p><p>“Get some rest, buddy. We’ll talk a little later,” Steve said as he rubbed Javier’s shoulder. His partner was already sound asleep.</p><p>********</p><p>Several hours later, Javier peeled open his eyes. It had a been a blessed, dreamless unconsciousness where the soreness in his chest or the throbbing pain in his side and leg, or the shortness of breath he constantly felt didn’t exist. He swallowed and winced when his throat reminded him that he hadn’t drank much water in the last few hours. Blinking several times to clear his vision, he looked around and saw Salome sitting beside his bed. Steve was nowhere in sight.</p><p>“S-S-Sa-” his voice caught in his throat and he broke out in a coughing fit that made it felt like his chest was running through a shredder. Every time he tried to suck in a breath it only extended the fit. Salome was up in a flash, adjusting his bed so he was sitting up. She’d been told what to do in case he went through a fit like this. Quickly she took the oxygen mask that was hanging on the wall and switched out the cannula under his nose.</p><p>“It’s alright, Javier. Just breathe, take a few breaths and just relax,” she coaxed as he groaned and tried to get his breathing under control. Finally he was able to manage deep breaths again and the coughing subsided. Salome felt comfortable enough to switch him back to the cannula and grabbed the water off the nightstand. “Here, have some water before we talk, ok?” She coaxed.</p><p>Javier accepted the straw again and took a few sips of water, relishing in how it soothed his sore throat. When Salome took the cup away he took a few tentative swallows before testing his voice. “Salome?” He sounded hoarse and raspy but at least he could form words.</p><p>“Well hello there, dearie. You feeling ok? Do I need to fetch your nurse?”</p><p>Javier shook his head. “Where’s Steve?” He queried.</p><p>“I sent him home with Connie to get some much-needed rest. He was falling asleep mid-conversation. He’ll be back later after a nap. Now, let’s talk about this,” she said as she reached into her knitting basket and pulled out a floppy disk. “Found this shoved into my big ball of yarn.”</p><p>“Figured they wouldn’t look there. Figured no one would look there,” Javier explained.</p><p>“Is this the disk they were looking for?”</p><p>Javier nodded again.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell anyone about this?”</p><p>“Didn’t want to get Steve and Carillo involved. They have families. Plus,” he paused so he could take a breath. “I know if Steve knew where the disk was, he’d turn it over to rescue me. He would do it without a second thought.”</p><p>“You know I found this pretty quickly after you went missing. The stress really ate into my yarn ball.”</p><p>Javier smirked a little. It was a relieving sight to see. “I knew you wouldn’t tell. I knew it didn’t matter how bad it got, you wouldn’t tell anyone about it.”</p><p>“Well count yourself lucky that Steve rescued you when he did because if you had been missing for one more day I would have ratted you out.”</p><p>“I don’t think I would have been around for one more day,” Javier said grimly.</p><p>Salome sat back in her chair. She shuffled her feet awkwardly before clearing her throat. “Wh-what happened while you were gone? Steve said he figured out a little bit after he saved you but…” She trailed off, wondering if perhaps she’d made a mistake in bringing this topic up.</p><p>Javier took a shuddering breath and let his eyes droop shut. He was already getting tired again and the thought of having this conversation right now filled him him with pure dread. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to relive those memories yet. It was better for him to just bury them deep inside himself and never speak of it again.</p><p>“I-I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” he replied softly.</p><p>“Alright, dear. I won’t press. Get some sleep, alright? I’ll be here. I won’t leave you,” she reassured as she pulled up the blanket a little bit and smoothed his hair back.</p><p>Javier nodded but he was well on his way to slumber already.</p><p>**********</p><p>“Hey Salome, do you want to take a little break and grab something to eat?” Steve asked.</p><p>He’d returned to the hospital several hours ago and was thankful to see that Javier was sleeping. Of course, he knew the steady morphine drip was probably the main reason for that. He and Salome had refused to leave the agent’s bedside, ensuring that everything remained calm and normal.</p><p>“I really don’t want to leave him,” she said reluctantly.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll bring something up for you,” he said understandingly as he rose to his feet and left the room.</p><p>********<b></b></p><p>
  <em>The water was sloshing over his head and filling his lungs. He was being smothered and there was no escaping the crushing weight as he clawed and fought, desperately reaching for the surface.</em>
</p><p>Javier’s heart monitor was picking up speed, alerting Salome. She sat up and set her work aside. Sweat was rolling down his face and rapid gasps substituted his once peaceful breathing. His body flinched hard as a pained groan escaped his lips.</p><p>“Javi? Javi wake up dear, you’re dreaming,” she said gently as she reached out and touched his arm gently.</p><p>“N-no!” He gasped in a gravely voice and jerked away from her touch. In his mind it was Sebastian touching him, hurting him over and over again. There was no escaping the rain of fists slamming into his body. The sound of chains was rattling in his ears and he could feel them smashing his ribs and chest.</p><p>His heart was racing now and he was hyperventilating. Alarms were loudly announcing his vitals and a nurse raced in followed by Steve.</p><p>“I-I think he’s having a nightmare or something,” Salome reported. There was worry in her eyes.</p><p>Steve motioned for the nurse to stay back before walking over to the bed. Javier was trying so hard to come up out of his drug-induced slumber as his head rocked against the pillow. Steve gently rested his hand on his partner’s shoulder.</p><p>“Javier, you’re home. You’re safe. It’s alright,” Steve called gently. Javier’s eyes fluttered open and they darted around frantically.</p><p>“No please. Please,” he begged breathlessly as his oxygen monitor beeped. He could feel the cannula under his nose and the wires and tubes attached to his body and started to claw desperately at them. He was disoriented and couldn’t fit together where he was. Steve knew that if Javier didn’t calm down in the next thirty seconds the nurse would push him aside and take over and then Javier was really going to flip out.</p><p>Gently he grabbed Javier’s hands before he could rip his IV’s out. “Javi. It’s me, Steve. You’re alright, Agent. It’s alright. You’re home.” Steve's voice was low and calm. Javier’s strength was waning and his fight against his partner’s hold was getting weaker.</p><p>“S-Steve?” He gasped as he finally pulled himself out of his stupor. The water and the pain disappeared. He trembled violently and Steve could see the fear and confusion on his face.</p><p>“It was a dream, Javi. You were dreaming. It’s alright. We’ve got you.” He let go of his friend’s wrists as he fixed the cannula back into place.</p><p>Javier shook his head. “Not real,” he insisted weakly.</p><p>“I am, Javi. I’m real. Salome’s real. It’s alright. I promise you’re safe. I’ve got your back. I always do.” </p><p>Steve’s words seemed to cut through the wall of fear and Javier visibly relaxed. He couldn’t stop trembling and the pain on his face was evident. The nurse tapped Steve gently on the shoulder and he turned away from his partner.</p><p>“We’re going to sedate him for now. His blood pressure and oxygen levels don’t look very good and he’s obviously in pain. We’ll just use a light one and let him sleep it off.”</p><p>Steve nodded reluctantly and moved to let the nurse access Javier’s IV port. She injected the medicine into the clear plastic tube.</p><p>“It’s alright, Javier,” Steve soothed after the nurse had left. “Just take a little nap. We aren’t going to leave. You’re safe.” Whether Javier believed his reassurances or not, it didn’t matter because the drugs were strong and Javier couldn’t fight them. He was unconscious in under a minute.</p><p>“I’m worried about him,” Salome said nervously as she wrung her hands.</p><p>“I know. Me too. I don’t know what happened to him over the last few days but just by his injuries alone you know it was fucking bad. I-I don’t know how to talk to him about it.”</p><p>“Just give him some time,” Salome reassured gently. “He’ll open up when he’s ready. He’s still hurting and trying to recover right now. It’s just a lot for him to handle right now.”</p><p>Steve nodded as he cast another glance at his partner.</p><p>“We’ll be patient and help him work through this. Javier is the toughest person we know. He’ll come back from this,” Salome reassured.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank y'all for reading! As always, rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Breaking Off in Bits and Pieces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Javier comes home from the hospital but his injuries aren't just physical.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello readers! Thank you so much for hanging tight with this fic! Sorry it took so long to update! Hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’ve got it Javi?” Steve asked, following Javier, who limped on crutches over the threshold of his apartment. Salome was already in the apartment, fussing over last-minute details and ensuring that the place was ready for Javier. It had been a week since he’d been rescued and the hospital discharged him today. It would be a difficult road until Javier was back to 100% but Steve assured the doctors that he had a strong support system behind him.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve got it,” Javier reassured as he paused once in the living room. Everything looked the way it had been before, except for the brand new coffee table in the middle of the room. All evidence that there had been a break-in and a fight was swept away. Except Javi knew. For a moment he was re-living the moment, picturing the terrified look on Salome’s face, feeling the sharp pain in his head as he was struck with the heavy, wooden table leg.</p><p>“Javi?” It was Connie’s gentle voice now. He could feel her hand on his back.</p><p>“Sorry,” he muttered as he shook his head and crutched his way to his room. Steve and Connie followed close behind him. Javier cursed that he was so helpless. He hated being this helpless. Limping to the bed, he carefully sat down. Steve took the crutches from him so that Connie could help him get into bed.</p><p>“Take it easy. I’ve got you. Don’t want to pop the stitches in your chest,” Connie warned as he leaned back against the pillows she’d propped up for him and made sure his casted leg was propped up comfortably. “There. How do you feel? How’s the pain?”</p><p>“Manageable,” Javier replied. “Got a dose of painkillers before I left the hospital.” He was already tired. What a joke.</p><p>“Alright. Salome’s got a schedule going for your medication. It’s important you stay on that. She’s also got a list of breathing exercises for you to do every day to help strengthen your lung and some stretches for your shoulder,” Connie explained. Javier rolled his eyes. The doctor had already told him this at the hospital.</p><p>“Don’t roll your eyes, Peña. Salome assured us that you would do them but if it turns out you’re not they’ll send a physical therapist. I know you don’t want that.”</p><p>Javier sighed and picked at the quilt Salome had put on the bed. “When can I go back to work?”</p><p>“Not until the cast comes off. And even then you’re going to be riding the desk until we get clearance from your doctor.” Javier huffed and let his head drop back to the pillows. He was clearly irritated.</p><p>“Look, man, I know you’re a workaholic and it sucks but it’s gonna suck more if you’re leg isn’t ready for you to be running or climbing on it. So just get comfortable because you’re going to be sitting for a bit.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Javier muttered under his breath.</p><p>“Lay off him, Steve,” Connie warned. “Alright, Javier. We’ll let you get some rest now. I’ll be by to check up on you later, make sure you’re not showing signs of complications, and to change your bandages ok?”</p><p>Javier nodded in reply. He seemed distant and detached.</p><p>“Feel better soon,” she said, patting his good leg before getting up and exiting the room. Steve got up and was going to follow her out when he paused and looked back at the bed. Javier looked so strange right now. His face was still bruised from the beatings he’d received and he looked out of place in a pair of black basketball shorts and a white tee-shirt. He wore a miserable expression and Steve felt sorry for him. He walked back over the bed and sat on the edge.</p><p>“Look, Javi. I’m not going to pretend I understand what you went through, and how hard this is now. I know you’ve got a long road of recovery ahead of you, but I’m going to be right here with you. So is Connie and Salome. You don’t have to go through this alone.”</p><p>Javier nodded and Steve noted he refused to meet his eye. This was not the same cocky, smart ass Javier he knew. Something was off but he didn’t press. His partner was still on hefty pain medication and low on actual sleep. It could be any combination of those things. He decided to just leave it be for now.</p><p>“Alright, buddy. Just get some sleep,” Steve said before getting up and leaving the room.</p><p>Javier sighed, relieved to be alone. He felt trapped and weighed down by everything. There was a pain in his head, a small tremor in his hands, and everything felt just…wrong. He feared he would never feel like his old self. He wanted to distract himself with work but Steve had put the kibosh on that idea too. He had nothing but his thoughts.</p><p>********</p><p>
  <em>Chains rattling. Cold water filling his mouth, nose, and lungs. Fists hammering his body. Darkness pulling and tugging at him. Sebastian laughing and taunting in his ear.</em>
</p><p>Javier gasped as he was yanked violently awake which immediately triggered a violent coughing fit. He practically held his sides together as coughs racked his damaged chest. He silently begged for it to stop before it awoke Salome. At last, the coughing subsided and he sank back into the pillows panting brokenly as sweat rolled down his face. He waited to hear if Salome would enter his room to check on him. She didn’t and Javier let out a sigh of relief. There was no need to wake her for something he could deal with on his own. She’d already worked tirelessly for the past two weeks to make sure he was comfortable and taken care of. The exhaustion was apparent on her face and for once she was getting a night of uninterrupted sleep. Besides, this happened every night. Every night he’d close his eyes, and it was only a matter of time before the sounds of clanking chains and the feel of cold water made him wake in a cold sweat. There was no escaping it.</p><p>He flipped on his bedside light and draped his arm over his eyes as he took some deep, calming breaths, trying to ease his frantic heartbeat. His chest was sore from the coughing and he felt to keyed up to go back to sleep. A bone-deep tiredness filled him. Two weeks of no sleep would do that to a person and he cursed the fact that Steve wouldn’t give him so much as a file to look at to keep him occupied. He still had at least four more weeks before the cast came off and he could return back to work. Four more weeks in which he had to cope with the swirling turmoil that was his brain. He squeezed his eyes shut as a tear escaped down his cheek. There was nothing to dull the pain and fear he felt. No way to forget it. Nothing to drown it out.</p><p>********</p><p>“Javier, you ready for lunch?” Salome called from the kitchen.</p><p>“Yeah. Just a sandwich!” Javier replied from the couch as he stretched out his leg. His cast was coming off at the end of the week and he couldn’t help but be a little excited. He’d be able to go back to work once more and the doctor said with regular physical therapy he could get back to being on the field in five weeks.</p><p>“Here you go dear,” Salome said kindly as she set the plate on his lap. “Eat up.”</p><p>“Thanks, Salome,” he replied as he began eating as he continued to watch the news on TV. It was his only connection to what was going on in the outside world.</p><p>Salome took in his dark sunken in eyes and his overall exhausted appearance. She wasn’t a fool. It was obvious that he hadn’t been sleeping much. It had taken a while to coax a joke out of him and even now he didn’t seem himself. She was worried about his mental health and felt like there might be some lingering effects from his ordeal lurking beneath the surface.</p><p>“How are you doing dear?”</p><p>“I’m fine. The cast is coming off soon. The pain is hardly there anymore and I’ve been doing good with my exercises.”</p><p>“And that’s all good, Javier. But I was talking about other stuff. How are you coping after all that’s happened?”</p><p>“I’m fine, Salome. Really.”</p><p>“It’s just that-“</p><p>“All these drugs and the weird sleep schedule and not being at work have just been messing with me. I promise once I go back to work I’ll be back to normal. So you don’t have to worry about me ok?” There was a razor-sharp edge in his voice. Just a little one so that Salome knew to back off.</p><p>“Alright alright,” she conceded. “Just know you can always come talk to me if you need to.”</p><p>Javier nodded as he took another bite of his sandwich.</p><p>**********</p><p>Javier approached his desk with his to-go cup of coffee in hand. For the first time in a while, he felt at peace. The work, that’s where he belonged. This is what would set him straight and make him feel better. Steve glanced up from the file he was reading to spot his partner walking up to their desk clump. He hated to admit it but he’d missed the sound of Javier’s annoying ass typewriter hammering away all day. It was good for everything to be getting back to normal.</p><p>Normal meant ensuring that none of their co-workers or office staff made a big deal about Javier coming back to work. Steve had talked to them thoroughly the day before, warning them that if anyone said anything about what happened, they would have to answer to him. Steve knew his partner well, and he knew he wouldn’t want them to make a fuss.</p><p>Javier made it to his desk and sat down in his chair. He breathed in and took in the scent of paper and printer ink. Gloria’s perfume wafted from the receptionist’s desk. There was a stack of files and letters on his desk that had accumulated in his absence. It felt like coming home and he was glad to be back at work. Without another bit of hesitation, he jumped right in. If he was only allowed to do desk and intel work for the time being, he was going to do the best damn job ever.</p><p>Steve noticed that his partner was more productive than usual, not even stopping for lunch. Granted, Javier had always been passionate about his work, but that was usually accompanied by flirting with his female co-workers, distracting others, and in general, just being an ass.Javier worked with an intense ferocity now that was very unlike him. The day rolled by quickly and come about four in the afternoon, Steve finally worked up the nerve to tell Javier something he’d been meaning to say all day. </p><p>“Oh Javi,” Steve said as his partner looked up at him from the files he was examining. “Whenever you get a second, Carillo wants you to come to his office.”</p><p>“What for?” Javier replied as his eyes drifted back to his work.</p><p>“To identify Sebastian and a few other faces.” Steve hesitated, searching his partner’s face for any hint of reaction. He thought he spotted something akin to terror in his dark eyes but maybe he’d imagined it.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll do it before he leaves today,” Javier replied casually. Steve cocked his head.</p><p>“You’ve been working hard, Jav. You sure you don’t want a break?”</p><p>Javier slapped the files down and shot his partner a serious look. “You promised me you weren’t going to do this Steve. Remember? We had this discussion yesterday. You promised me you weren’t going to act like my fucking nurse.”</p><p>“Wasn’t nursing you, pal,” Steve said, raising his hands in surrender. “I just wanted to check up on you. Carillo can wait if you want to put that off.”</p><p>“I’m fucking fine, Steve. In fact,” he nearly growled as he stood up abruptly. “I’ll go identify the fuckers now.” He stormed away and Steve sighed as he rubbed his hand across his eyes. He knew Javier’s recovery was going to be difficult. He just didn’t imagine it was going to be this hard. His partner was just as stubborn as he was and only half as willing to open up. Steve had a feeling he was going to be fighting Javier the whole way.</p><p>**********</p><p>Javier checked his watch. It was 2 AM. <em>Just twenty more minutes</em>, he told himself. He’d been telling himself that for the past four hours. Steve and everyone else had long since gone home but Javier had reassured that he would leave as soon as he finished his paperwork. He kept finding new things to do, however. There was stuff to file, evidence to log, facts to check. There was always something to keep his mind occupied. He’d been back on the job for two weeks at this point and had strategically spent less and less time at his apartment. It was just easier that way. His nightmares were getting more and more violent and sleep seemed pretty pointless. He felt better when he was busy. Yes, the work would soothe all his problems. He didn’t have to think about what happened when he was working.</p><p>As he glanced over a spread of photographs Steve had taken at the scene, he was aware of a soft rain falling outside. As time passed it grew heavier and heavier. It was one of those violent summer rains, the ones Javier was very familiar with. He tried to ignore it but the sound of drops pelting on the roof and windows of the office was droning into his brain louder and louder. He rubbed his chest, feeling a sudden tightness there and he trembled slightly. When had it become do damn cold in this building? He pressed on, trying to read what Steve had written about the photographs hearing his voice in his head.</p><p>
  <em>Over 100 kilos of product were seized. There were 10 fatalities and 12 arrests. One of the arrests was…rain…chains…pain…fists…</em>
</p><p>Javier couldn’t breathe now. His head was spinning as sweat formed and ran down his face. It felt like he was being squeezed in an iron vice and he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move. His heart was pounding in his head as he gasped and tried to breathe around the water in his lungs. That familiar feel of cold panic and the realization that was going to die under the dark water filled him until surely he was going to burst. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why couldn’t he escape? There was only pain and fear and water. He was hyperventilating now and he couldn’t pull in enough air. The darkness overtook him so fast there was no way to stop it.</p><p>Javier pulled his eyes open and it took him a moment to orient himself. He wasn’t sitting at this desk anymore. He was lying on the floor. He must have fallen out of his chair when he blacked out. Groaning, he pulled himself up and sat down once more. There was still a slight tremor in his hands and he sighed. Rain. Fucking rain had triggered a panic attack. He was spiraling out of control. He felt trapped and lost with no way to get out of the pit he was in. He hated what he’d become. He hated that even after all this time, the pain and the torture still haunted him.</p><p>********</p><p>“Javier!”</p><p>A sharp voice startled him awake and he pulled his eyes open to see Steve starring across his desk at him.</p><p>“What?” Javier replied groggily as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>“You fell asleep at your desk. That’s the third time in the past hour. How long are you staying here at night?”</p><p>“I leave shortly after you,” Javier replied.</p><p>“That’s a fucking lie, Peña and you know it. Salome said you didn’t get home ‘till 4:30 last night. I’m drawing the line at you almost living here. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove but you can’t possibly do good work when you’re exhausted. Go home and get some rest.”</p><p>“Well, lucky for me, you aren’t my boss, Steve so why don’t you just fuck right off.” Javier was irritated and Steve knew he’d struck a nerve.</p><p>“He might not be your boss, but I am.” Javier turned to see Carillo standing behind him. “Go home, Agent Peña.”</p><p>“Come on, Carillo.”</p><p>“That’s a fucking order.” Carillo’s voice was stern and unwavering. Both men knew Carillo could have either one of them in a chokehold before they had a chance to blink.</p><p>“Fuck you both,” Javier muttered as he got to his feet, gathered his belongings, and stormed out.</p><p>He was livid that he was being sent home. It was going to go about the same way it always did. He would lay down and close his eyes, he’d manage to get a few hours of sleep before the nightmares started and he woke up screaming and shaking. It had been an endless cycle over and over for weeks now and he was sick of it. He didn’t know how to fix it. It was getting worse and worse. He suffered paralyzing panic attacks now every time he heard heavy rain or got in over five feet of water. Hell, seeing Sebastian’s picture when he’d been called in to identify him had started one up and he had to leave Carillo’s office before he noticed.</p><p>He let himself into his apartment. Salome was in the kitchen cooking something. She seemed genuinely surprised to see Javier home so early.</p><p>“Everything alright dear?” She called as he made his way to his room.</p><p>“Yeah. They sent me home early. I’m going to take a nap,” Javier said quickly, entering his room and shutting the door before she had the chance to ask any more questions.</p><p>He took a deep breath. He was going to try again. He was exhausted, he could feel it. Maybe being this tired would help him get some sleep. Quickly, he dressed in comfortable clothes, drew the blinds shut so that it was comfortably dark, and climbed into bed. His body insisted it was exhausted and his eyes shut before he even gave them permission to. Within a few minutes, he was asleep. Within a few hours, however, he was clawing awake fighting for breath like it was never going to come. His body shook violently and he couldn’t stop the vomit that pushed up from his gut. He ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before he was emptying his guts out in the bowl. He stayed on his knees for a few more minutes before he spat once more and flushed the toilet.</p><p>He sat on the edge of his bed in a daze, feeling weak and drained. Before he could stop it, his body started to rack with sobs as he broke down. He’d lost any will or strength to contain the emotions that were spilling over now. He’d never felt so lost and out of control. He didn’t know if he would ever be the same again.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> When there were no more tears to cry, he wiped his eyes. </span></p><p>Almost mechanically, he reached over into his bedside drawer, opened it, and withdrew a large bottle of whiskey. He’d bought it a while back and kept it there for emergencies and he figured now was as good a time as ever. Unscrewing the cap he took a large swig out of it and settled in his bed with his back resting against the headboard, preparing for the results of his binge drinking. He was going to get some sleep one way or another. Half an hour later, the bottle was empty and Javier had blacked out, slumped over on his pillows.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter is the finale. As always rate and review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Road to Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Javier finally starts taking steps to recovery.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello readers! I'm so sorry it took me so long to finish this. I think honestly I was sad to do so. I don't have any inspired ideas at the moment so for now, this is the last fic with Salome. I hope you all have loved her as much as I have. If you have any prompts you want to see with her please send them my way! Anyways, the conclusion to this epic fic!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Javi? You want some lunch?” Salome asked gently. The man in question was slumped on the couch staring listlessly at the television. Javier had not been himself since he’d been suspended from work. It seemed Carillo was fed up with his irritable attitude and sent him home until he could take care of himself.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Javier replied. His eyes burned with exhaustion. Maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to drift off to sleep to the sound of the television droning if everyone would shut up.</p><p>Salome bit her lip nervously. Javier hadn’t eaten much over the last few weeks either and it was starting to show in his frame. She knew he rarely ate when he was working, and it seemed like he was working all the time now. She decided to be a little bit persistent.</p><p>“Come on Javier. I’ve already made two sandwiches.”</p><p>“Then fucking eat them yourself,” Javier replied, growing more and more impatient. He wanted desperately to sleep.</p><p>“Javier! What’s gotten into you!”</p><p>“Fuck! Can’t you just shut up for five minutes and leave me alone?” Javier shouted as he jumped to his feet and turned to face here. He was breathing heavily as he looked into her stunned expression with wild, blood-shot eyes. </p><p>She was taken aback. She’d never heard him yell like that before and the look on his face now was one she didn’t recognize. This was not the Javier she knew and it broke her heart. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. Not wanting to cry in front of him, she quickly moved from the kitchen to the front door.</p><p>“I’m going out. I’ll be back,” she said quickly in a wavering voice, not even giving him a chance to explain or apologize as she left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.</p><p>Javier let out a whooshing exhale as he stumbled back to the couch. He couldn’t stop his hands trembling as he was overcome with guilt. The look she'd given him; it would linger in his mind for a long time. It was a mixture of hurt and betrayal. He was officially out of control and he didn’t know how to fix it. He’d alienated everyone he cared about, including Salome. He had no job, no one who understood, no way out of this. He could feel the intense, chest crushing pain filling him again and he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>**********</p><p>Connie heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. She was surprised to see Salome standing on their doorstep with tears running down her face.</p><p>“Salome? What’s wrong? Steve!” Connie called as she ushered the older woman inside. Her husband entered the living room and a look of concern crossed his face when he saw Salome.</p><p>“It’s Javier. Something’s wrong with him. H-He hasn’t been himself since he got back and I’m getting so worried about him,” she sobbed.</p><p>“Here, sit down Salome,” Connie urged gently as she guided the older woman to sit on the couch. “Now, what’s going on?”</p><p>“He’s not eating. He’s definitely not sleeping. He’s irritable and jumpy. He’s…he’s just not himself.”</p><p>“Are you sure it’s not his pain medication? The doctors said it would affect his moods,” Steve suggested.</p><p>Salome shook her head. “He finished his doses two weeks ago and if anything he’s gotten worse.”</p><p>“I’ve noticed his behavior change too. I agree with Salome. Something is definitely wrong with him,” Connie chimed in. She chewed her lip for a moment. “Has-has he talk to either one of you about what happened to him?”</p><p>Salome and Steve shook their heads simultaneously.</p><p>“I tried to ask him about it when he was in the hospital but, understandably, he wasn’t ready to talk about it then. It was still pretty fresh,” Salome admitted.</p><p>“I think he’s suffering from PTSD,” Connie concluded. “Think about it. Javier doesn’t deal with his emotions very well, to begin with, and then to top off what I’m certain he went through, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”</p><p>“So what do we do? It’s not like he’s going to open up if we all try to approach him about this,” Steve said.</p><p>“Exactly. That’s why you’re going to talk to him.” Steve looked at his wife. “You’re his partner and probably the only real friend he has. He’s been open with you before about some personal things and you know how to approach him. That’s the only way we’re going to find out what’s wrong.”</p><p>Steve sighed. “Alright, give me a minute to think about how I want to do this.”</p><p>He got up and went to the landline in the kitchen. Picking up the receiver, he took a deep breath and dialed Javier’s number praying that his partner would pick up.</p><p>“Peña residence,” came the answer on the other end. Steve had to admit that his partner sounded strained and tired.</p><p>“Hey, Jav. It’s me. Look, I took some files from work, under Carillo’s nose, and I wanted to know if you’d be interested in meeting me at the bar to look over them.”</p><p>There was a scoff on the other end of the line. “<em>You</em> broke the rules?”</p><p>“Come on Javi. What Carillo did wasn’t fair. Let me make it up to you.”</p><p>There was a pause and Steve held his breath, fearful that Javier would refuse. At last, there was a sigh.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll be there in half an hour.”</p><p>“Ok. See you then,” Steve replied before hanging up and returning to the living room where he went to put on his shoes.</p><p>“Well?”</p><p>“I’m meeting him at the bar. I know Javi. He tends to open up when he’s had a drink or two.”</p><p>“Just remember to be patient with him, Steve. We don’t know what’s going on inside that brain of his,” Connie advised.</p><p>“I will,” Steve promised as he left the apartment.</p><p>**********</p><p>Javier was running late. Steve had never known the man to be late for any kind of social engagement. He was starting to worry. After waiting fifteen more minutes Steve was halfway out of the bar to go look for his partner when the man in question walked in.</p><p>“Steve?” Javier said with a confused look on his face.</p><p>“You’re fucking late dude. I thought something had happened to you.”</p><p>“I-I couldn’t find my keys,” Javier confessed warily. Steve was going to brush off what he would normally consider a lame excuse, but upon looking into the gaunt, exhausted face of his partner, he figured it might really be true.</p><p>“No problem. Want a drink?”</p><p>“Where are the files you were telling me about?”</p><p>“Let’s get a drink first and then I’ll show you,” Steve insisted.</p><p>Javier sighed. “Alright, alright,” he conceded as he joined his friend at the bar.</p><p>Three beers later, Javier seemed to be in much higher spirits. The files were forgotten about as Steve filled him in on some office antics he'd had missed. Javier asked if Gloria was still single because he’d been scoping her out for months now and he wanted to make sure no one else had swooped in and stolen her. This was the first normal interaction they’d had since Javier first went missing.</p><p>“So, let's take a look at those files,” Javier said eagerly.</p><p>“Hang on, Jav. Look, I want-“ he sighed and took a deep breath as he tried to chose his next words carefully. “I want to make sure you’re doing alright.”</p><p>“I’m fine, Steve. I’ve made a full recovery.”</p><p>“And that’s great, pal. I’m talking about mentally. I-I know you went through a lot when they had you and I just want to make sure you’re not handling it the way you typically handle things.”</p><p>“I’m fine, Steve. Alright? It’s been a little difficult getting back into the swing of things and those first few weeks were rough but I’m in control now.”</p><p>“You’re sure?”</p><p>“Yes, Steve! Why does everyone insist on babysitting me,” Javier said in a raised voice as he stood up.</p><p>“We don’t. We just want to make sure you’re alright.” Steve could feel the situation spiraling.</p><p>“<em>We</em>? So everyone is in on this?” Javier had a betrayed look on his face. This kind of behavior was completely out of the ordinary for the man.</p><p>“No one is “in” on anything Javier. We’re your friends and we care about you.”</p><p>“I’m f….” Javier trailed off as he went white as a sheet and he stumbled a few steps.</p><p>“Javi?” Steve called in a concerned voice and was moving to catch his partner as he pitched forward. “Whoa! Javier!” Steve called again as he limped a few feet and dumped his limp partner into a booth. Javier was breathing heavily and looked faint as sweat started to form on his forehead.</p><p>“Steve?” His partner rasped as he tried to swallow the sick feeling in the back of his throat.</p><p>“Hang on buddy. Give me a sec. Hey barkeep,” Steve called as he spun around to face the man at the bar. “Can I get a glass of water?Agua?”</p><p>The barkeeper nodded and brought a glass of water to Steve who gave it to Javier.</p><p>“Here, drink up,” Steve urged and Javier took some tentative sips. “Feeling better?”</p><p>Javier nodded. “Got really light-headed there for a second.”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s because you haven’t been eating or sleeping. Come on. Let’s get you home into bed alright?”</p><p>Javier nodded and Steve could see how truly bone tired his partner was. He looked aged and withered. Without another word, he helped the man to his feet. Javier stumbled a few steps and Steve was worried he was going to go down again but his partner remained upright and the two men made their way out of the bar.</p><p>It was a long and torturous walk back to Javier’s apartment, but at last, they arrived and Steve helped his partner into his apartment and onto the couch. Javier moved like he was going to try and get up but Steve pressed him back against the cushions.</p><p>“Take a nap, Javi. I’m serious. You’re shutting down.” His partner still attempted to get up but his efforts were getting weaker as Steve pulled one of Salome’s blankets over him.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Javier muttered as his eyes forced themselves closed. He was asleep within minutes. If that wasn’t a testament to Salome’s fears, Steve didn’t know what was. He grabbed the landline off of the side table and dialed his home, waiting as the dial tone sounded over the receiver.</p><p>“Hello, Connie Murphy speaking,” came his wife’s voice.</p><p>“Hey Connie,” Steve said in a low voice, trying not to wake his partner. “I’m at Javier’s apartment. He collapsed at the bar and is sleeping now. Have Salome stay there tonight. I’m going to stay with him. I think you both were right. He’s not taking care of himself so I’m going to make sure he does.”</p><p>“Alright, Steve. Keep me updated. I love you,” Connie replied.</p><p>“I love you too,” Steve said before hanging up. Setting the landline back in its place, Steve settled in the recliner he was sitting in and switched on the television with the remote. He made sure to keep the volume low as he settled in to watch over his friend as he slept.</p><p>All was calm for roughly an hour and a half before Steve heard a sharp hiss from the couch. Javier started gasping and flailing as his head rocked against the cushion.</p><p>“Javi?” Steve called gently as he sat up straight.</p><p>“No! No p-please!” Javier cried out desperately.</p><p>“Javi!” Steve called louder as he sprung to his partner's side and grabbed his shoulders gently.</p><p>“No! Don’t!” Javier growled as she tried to shove Steve away.</p><p>“Hey! Javi!” Steve called, holding onto him tightly. “Wake up, Javier. It’s me, Steve. Wake up!”</p><p>Javier’s eyes shot open as he sat up abruptly. The water once more disappeared from his consciousness and was replaced with an all too familiar sensation. Shoving his partner out of the way, he stumbled to the bathroom and just barely made it to the toilet before his stomach was forcing its contents back up his throat.</p><p>Steve was stunned for a moment but was snapped out of it at the sound of his partner retching in the bathroom. He hurried to the room to find Javier hunched over the bowl, gripping it so tight his knuckles were turning white as his body heaved painfully over and over.</p><p>Javier thought the spasms would never end as his body insisted it had more than beer to bring up. He felt a gentle hand on his back and shamed burned in his face. He didn’t want Steve to see him like this but there was no escaping. At last, it seemed like his stomach was done twisting itself inside out and he groaned as he slumped away from the toilet, panting for breath.</p><p>“Easy, Javi,” Steve said gently as he guided his friend to lean against the wall before flushing the toilet.</p><p>Javier closed his eyes as he tried to slow his breathing. He heard the sound of the sink turning on, running for a spell and then shutting off before he felt a cool damp cloth press against his forehead.</p><p>“How long has this been going on?”</p><p>“What?” Javier slurred as he dragged his eyes open to look at his partner who’s blue eyes held nothing but concern for him.</p><p>“The nightmares. How long have you had those?”</p><p>“Uh, since the hospital,” Javier replied weakly as he shut his eyes again.</p><p>“Anything else you haven’t been telling me?”</p><p>Javier shook his head.</p><p>“Cut the bullshit, Peña. You’re obviously not ok. Now, tell me what’s been going on.”</p><p>Javier took a deep breath. “Nightmares. Panic attacks. Stupid stuff triggers them. Fucking rain triggers them. Can’t sleep or eat. I-I’m afraid.”</p><p>Steve was stunned. Javier Peña never once admitted to weakness. He was always calm, always in control, always collected. This shaking ghost of a man in front in front of him didn’t even resemble his partner. He was not expecting a confession so quickly. </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were struggling like this?”</p><p>“Didn’t want you to know. I was embarrassed. I thought I could get it under control. And I can’t. And I snapped at Salome and made her cry. And I’ve fucked up work. And I can’t fucking get it under control. It’s with me all the time.” Javier was shaking now. He looked like he might break.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> The emotions were building up and this time, his walls were too weak to hold them back. Steve could see Javier was about to lose it. </span></p><p>“Hey, hey, none of that matters now Javier,” Steve said wrapping his partner in his arms. “We’re going to figure this out. We’ll get you some help. I promise.”</p><p>Broken sobs started to pull from his partner’s body as Steve sat on the bathroom floor with him, holding him close and trying to soothe him gently.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Javier never cried. Time and time again Steve had broken down and Javier was the one to pull him together. But this time, their roles were reversed. </span></p><p>"I can't do this anymore," Javier sobbed out. </p><p>"I know, Javi. I know. You don't have to anymore. I'm here." Steve held the back of his partner's head as Javier sobbed into his shoulder. </p><p>************</p><p>“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Peña. Have a seat,” the young, dark-haired woman gestured to the chair facing her desk before she sat down. Javier nodded as he took a seat. He wondered if he would ever stop feeling so awkward here. “So we’re about five sessions in. I just wanted to check-in and see how you’re doing.”</p><p>Her smile was warm, genuine, and it eased him. “Better,” he replied.</p><p>“How are the panic attacks?” Dr. Nolan asked.</p><p>“I haven’t had one in two weeks. Even when they arrested Sebastian and I had to verify it was him.”</p><p>“Have you been on a normal eating schedule?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Good. Salome confirmed with me this morning that you’ve been eating like you use to. Now, how about the nightmares?”</p><p>Javier sighed as he fiddled with his hands in his lap. “I-I still get them most nights. Not always, but enough were I don’t want to sleep.”</p><p>“You’ve not been taking any medication or using other means to sleep right?” Javier nodded. “The nightmares will pass, Javier. The fact that you don’t get them every night now is progress. Think back to the last night you didn’t have a nightmare. What was different about that night?”</p><p>“I uh…” Javier’s face went beet red. “I wasn’t alone.”</p><p>“So you had a guest over. What about the time before that?”</p><p>“Fell asleep on the couch watching TV with Salome.”</p><p>“It seems that you do better around others. What you went through was difficult, and you had to deal with it alone. But this, the aftermath, you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with the people who care about you, and you’ll find your recovery a much easier road to navigate.” Dr. Nolan gave him a warm smile and he nodded.</p><p>Half an hour later, Javier left the office feeling a little lighter and a little more reflective. He’d been skeptical about starting therapy to help with his PTSD. Carillo promised that if he started attending regular sessions, he’d be allowed to come back to work and that was too tempting of a carrot to pass up. Despite his doubts, it really had helped. He no longer felt like he didn’t have control of his life anymore and the side-effects of his abduction were slowly but surely starting to fade.</p><p>When he entered his apartment, Salome was sitting in her chair knitting as she watched the television. She looked up at him and smiled warmly.</p><p>“How was your session today?”</p><p>“Pretty good. I felt better about it today,” Javier said as he sat on the couch and stretched out along its length. He was feeling tired.</p><p>“Good. I invited Steve, Connie, and the baby over for supper tonight. I think I’ll try that recipe you gave me that belonged to your mother. I’m curious to see how her secret ingredient works.”</p><p>He didn’t answer and she looked over to see him sound asleep. Smiling to herself, she set her work aside and got out of her chair. Lovingly, she grabbed the quilt that was draped over the back of the sofa and draped it over him. She gently cupped his cheek and smoothed back his hair before going to the kitchen to start making a grocery list for dinner.</p><p>And Javier enjoyed the blissful peace of deep sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank y'all so much for reading! I have enjoyed writing for you. Again, if you have any Salome prompts you want to see comment below! Much love!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Keep an eye out for the next chapter. As always, rate and review!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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